Rufus T. Firefly: [into radio] This is Rufus T. Firefly coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. We're in a mess folks, we're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't sen...
Lemonade Vendor: I'll teach you to kick me! Chicolini: You don't have to teach me, I know how! [He kicks him]
Rufus T. Firefly: Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have? Chicolini: Well, I tell you what I think, I think we should have a standing army. Rufus T. Firefly: Why should we have a standing army? Chicolini:...
Rufus T. Firefly: Hey! Do you want to be a public nuisance? Chicolini: Sure! How much does the job pay?
First Judge: That sort of testimony we can eliminate. Chicolini: Atsa fine. I'll take some. First Judge: You'll take what? Chicolini: Eliminate. A nice, cold glass eliminate.
Bob Roland: We've got to get rid of that man at once. Now I've got a plan. You say something to make him mad, and he'll strike you... and we'll force him to leave the country. Rufus T. Firefly: That's a swell plan... why couldn't you arrange for me t...
Rufus T. Firefly: How would you like a job in the mint? Chicolini: Mint? No, no, I no like a mint. Uh, what other flavor you got?
Rufus T. Firefly: You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.
Rufus T. Firefly: Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon. Ambassador Trentino: What? Rufus T. Firefly: I, uh, I'm sorry I said that; it isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
Rufus T. Firefly: [to Chicolini] I wanted to get a writ of habeas corpus, but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I'll see my lawyer about this as soon as he graduates from law school!
Mrs. Teasdale: Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you. Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Mrs. Teasdale: As chairman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms. Rufus T. Firefly: Is that so? How late do you stay open?
Rufus T. Firefly: Just for that, you don't get the job I was going to give you. Chicolini: What job? Rufus T. Firefly: Secretary of War. Chicolini: All right, I take it. Rufus T. Firefly: Sold.
Rufus T. Firefly: Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.
Rufus T. Firefly: I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
[reporting on shadowing Firefly] Chicolini: Monday we watch-a Firefly's house, but he no come he wasn't home. Tuesday we go to the ball game, but he fool us: he no show up. Wednesday HE go to the ball game, but we fool him, WE no show up. Thursday it...
Rufus T. Firefly: I'm in a hurry! To the House of Representatives! Ride like fury! If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel! Now step on it!
