Daniel: [looks into coffin] Who is this? Undertaker: Pardon me? Daniel: That's not my father. Undertaker: [checking] Oh shit, we've taken the wrong one.
Martha: Simon. Simon: [from behind the locked bathroom door] Simon. Martha: Simon! Simon: Simon. Martha: Si! Simon: ...Mon.
[last lines] Uncle Alfie: [on the roof, naked and high] Everything's so fucking green.
Justin: You can't fight what we had together. Martha: Justin, it was one night. It was a massive mistake. I was drunk out of my mind. You could have been a donkey!
[repeated line] Daniel: My father was an exceptional man...
Simon: [unravelling a roll of toilet paper] Go, go! Join the others!
Uncle Alfie: I'm about to shit in my trousers.
[first lines] Daniel: [giving instructions to the pallbearers] Just, uh, straight through there and to the left, please.
Robert: What are you doing in my dad's coffin?
Troy: If he jumps, I'm fucked.
Simon: Why are my hands so big?
Simon: [the coffin starts moving] I knew it!
Simon: [hallucinating] Was there a dog in here just now?
Martha: What did you just say? Troy: I said the Valium you gave to Simon wasn't actually Valium. It's an hallucinogenic concoction. You know, stuff like acid, mescaline, a little ketamine. Martha: This isn't funny, Troy. Troy: I'm not being funny. Lo...
Robert: [staring at coffin] Well, this is bloody grim, isn't it?
Justin: [jauntily] Hey, you look nice. Martha: I'm dressed for a funeral.
Martha: We're on our way to a funeral you wanker! Don't you have any respect?
Jane: Would you like a cup of tea, Sandra? Sandra: Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead.
