Hannah: Take off your shirt. Jacob: Why? Hannah: Please can you take off your shirt, 'cause I can't stop thinking, and then you just... Jacob: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Hannah: Alright, okay, okay, okay. Jacob: [removing his shirt] Okay, okay, ok...
Jacob: I'm wildly unhappy, and I'm trying to buy it, and it's not working.
Robbie: [in a text to Jessica] Demi Moore is 15 years older than Ashton Kutcher. They seem happy together.
Kate: As you know Robbie's shining moment this year was when he set a school record for cursing in an eighth grade English class. [gets up and writes on blackboard] Kate: Asshole. You're familiar with that word, Mrs Weaver? Emily: Yes, I am and I've ...
Jessica: Whoa! Jessica: I'm sorry, I should have knocked first. Robbie: The thing is, I have a picture of you. I think about you while I'm doing it.
Cal: [standing in the rain after Emily argues with him] What a cliché.
Emily: When I told you when I had to work late? I really went to go see the new Twilight movie by myself, and it was so bad.
Jacob: I'm going to help you rediscover your manhood. Do you have any idea where you could have lost it?
Robbie: If you love her, then go get her back. Cal: Wow, how old are you?
Cal: Are you pointing at me? Robbie: You're pointing at him? Emily: She's pointing at him? OH!
Kate: I'm five years sober asshole!
Kate: What do you want to do with me? Cal: I want to show you off to my ex-wife and make her really jealous!
Jessica: I don't want your slutty money!
Jacob: The bags under your eyes looks like Hugh Hefner's ball sack.
Jacob: Who looks like a carrot?
Cal: I have purchased a firearm.
