Crazy, Stupid, Love. Quotes

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Hannah: Will you take off your shirt... fuck! Seriously? It's like you're Photoshopped!

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Cal: I have loved her even when I hated her... only married couples'll understand that one...

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Cal: How about we say what we want on three? One, two, three. Emily: I want a divorce. Cal: [at the same time] Creme brulee.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Jacob: The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Cal: [Jacob is standing naked in the men's locker room, legs spread apart] Cal: Would you put on some clothes please? Jacob: Jacob: Oh, I'm sorry. Is this bothering you? Cal: Cal [annoyed] Cal: No! It's not! Jacob: Jacob: Cal, my schwantz is in your ...

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Hannah: [after kissing him passionately] Do you remember me? Jacob: [fazed by the kiss] Yeah. Hannah: Do you still find me attractive? Jacob: Yes. Hannah: Do you still want to take me home? Jacob: Yeah. Hannah: Let's go.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Hannah: I'm here to bang the hot guy who hit on me at the bar. Jacob: Jacob. Hannah: Jacob! Sorry, Jacob... Jacob: Do people still say "bang"? Hannah: I do. And we're gonna bang!

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Robbie: You wanna talk about The Scarlet Letter, Ms. Tafferty? All right. Well, the A they're both wearing - I think it stands for "asshole." Wanna know why? Because they fell in love and love is for stupid assholes. And this book is just about a bun...

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Jacob: Let's talk about how many women you've been with. Cal: Sexually? Jacob: Yeah, no. I mean break-dance fighting.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Cal: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Liz: Your life is so PG-13.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Cal: Who told you that Emily and I are getting divorced? Cal's Boss: Amy heard you crying in the bathroom - we all thought it was cancer. Cal: Oh... Cal's Boss: Thank God, man... *laughing* Cal: Yeah, just my relationship...

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Bernie Riley: Claire said I can't be friends with you anymore. Cal: What? Bernie Riley: She said we had to choose between you and Emily. I chose you. But she said no.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Jacob: Are you the billionaire owner of Apple Computers? Cal: No. Jacob: Oh, ok. In that case, you've got no right to wear New Balance sneakers, ever.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Jacob: I don't know whether to help you or euthanize you.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Jacob: The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner's ball sack. Cal: [Carefully looks at himself on mirror and sighs... ] Yes, it is.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Cal: I'm so mad at you. I'm really mad at you for what you did. But I'm mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates. Emily: I miss you.

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Kate: Tell her she's the perfect combination of sexy and cute, asshole!

Crazy, Stupid, Love.