Dirk: You're not the boss of me, Jack. You're not the king of Dirk. I'm the boss of me. I'm the king of me. I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when we roll.
[in a scene from "Brock Landers: Angels Live In My Town"] Dirk: [as Brock] You still hungry? Jessie St. Vincent: Starving. [unzipping his pants] Dirk: [as Brock] Then feast on that.
Floyd Gondolli: I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy.
Dirk: What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.
Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name? Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers. Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell. Jack Horner: Those are some great names.
Buck Swope: See this system here? This is Hi-Fi... high fidelity. What that means is that it's the highest quality fidelity.
[Both girls high on coke] Rollergirl: Amber, are you my mom? I'm gonna ask you, okay? And you say yes, okay? Amber, are you my mom? Amber Waves: Yes, sweetie.
[Little Bill discovers his wife having sex for a group of spectators] Little Bill: What the fuck are you doing? Little Bill's wife: Go away, Bill, you're embarrassing me.
Scotty: I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot...
Reed Rothchild: Have you seen that Star Wars movie? Eddie Adams: Yeah, I've seen it four times. Reed Rothchild: You know, people tell me I kind of look like Han Solo.
[the Colonel's lady friend is lying on the floor, bleeding from the nose] Young Stud: [wailing] I, I think she did too much coke. Colonel James: Oh, you think so, doctor?
Floyd Gondolli: This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth. Jack Horner: Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateurs and not professionals? ...
Colonel James: I'm looking forward to seeing you in action. Jack says you've got a great big cock. Eddie Adams: Well, I don't know, I guess so. Colonel James: May I see it? Eddie Adams: Really? Colonel James: Please! [stares as Eddie lowers his short...
Amber Waves: Let me just check on something. [takes off Dirk's pants] Amber Waves: This is a giant cock.
Reed Rothchild: Hey, are those lizard? Dirk: No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these.
Dirk: Aren't you gonna take your skates off? Rollergirl: I never take my skates off.
Eddie Adams: Jack, I was thinking about my name, y'know? Jack Horner: Yeah? Eddie Adams: I was wondering if you had any ideas. Jack Horner: I've got a few, but you tell me. Eddie Adams: Well, my idea was, y'know, I want a name, I want it so it can cu...
