Harlan Pepper: I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put ...
Meg Swan: We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.
Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends. Cookie Fleck: Hundreds. Gerry Fleck: Hundreds? Cookie Fleck: [Thinks] ... Yeah, hundreds. Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that! Not that... Not that I didn't have quite the reputation myself. I was known b...
Sherri Ann Cabot: [Discussing her 80 year old husband who's 44 years her senior] Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm ...
Hamilton Swan: I remember what I was drinking when I met you. It was a grande espresso. Meg Swan: That's right. And I thought that was really sexy.
Buck Laughlin: Doctor, question that's always bothered me and a lot of people: Mayflower, combined with Philadelphia - a no-brainer, right? Cause this is where the Mayflower landed. Not so. It turns out Columbus actually set foot somewhere down in th...
[On why he can't dance] Gerry Fleck: I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet! Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding. Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.
Stefan Vanderhoof: We're gonna be in Philadelphia for 48 hours, how many tea services can you do?
Gerry Fleck: Don't water the plants, they're plastic!
Buck Laughlin: Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?
Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor? Nurse: Uh, no. Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!
[at the butcher] Stefan Vanderhoof: Now, Tyrone would like some of those beef kidneys so we'll have a half pound of those. Scott Donlan: No, not the kidneys, it's the membranes, I don't wanna have to pull those things off. Stefan Vanderhoof: [rolls e...
[after the hotel manager suggests going to the pet store to get a new toy for Beatrice] Meg Swan: What are you a wizard? A genius? Why didn't you tell me that before?
Christy Cummings: It's interesting, we have kind of a family dynamic going on here which pretty much mirrors what I grew up with: I'm the mommy slash daddy, the taskmaster, the disciplinarian. Sherri Ann Cabot: Mr. Punishment over here. Christy Cummi...
Gerry Fleck: [talking about Scott's leather trousers] Do you appreciate the amount of work that went into this? Scott Donlan: I ought to, I did it myself. I did it, I did it myself. I bored him to death, talked about it non stop. Stefan Vanderhoof: W...
Stefan Vanderhoof: If you're ever buying a shampoo sink go right to the Dutch. The French know nothing about shampooing.
Meg Swan: No, that's a bear in a, in a bee costume.
