The Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? Bruce Wayne: What? The Joker: I always ask that of all my prey. I just... like the sound of it. [shoots him]
Vicki Vale: What do you want? The Joker: My face on the one dollar bill. Vicki Vale: You must be joking. The Joker: Do I look like I'm joking?
[Batman dangles a mugger over the side of a building] Nic: Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man! Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man! Batman: I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me. Nic: What a...
The Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?
Vicki Vale: [distracting Joker] Mr. Joker, you say such beautiful things. Oh, you're so powerful. And purple! Oh, I love purple. Batman: Excuse me. [Joker looks] Batman: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? [punches him]
Bruce Wayne: I know who you are. Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people. The Joker: I like him already. [laughs] Bruce Wayne: Now you know the problem was... he got sloppy. You know? Crazy. He started to lose it....
The Joker: [reciting his poem to Vicki] I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep.
The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?
The Joker: Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Vicki Vale: A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker. Batman: He's psychotic. Vicki Vale: Some people say the same thing about you. Batman: What people? Vicki Vale: Well, I mean, let's face it. You're not exactly normal, are you? Batman...
The Joker: [fuming] Batman... Batman... Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a *bat* gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!
Joker: I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.
The Joker: [talking to a gargoyle] What are you laughin' at?
Grissom: That you, sugar bumps? [turns around to see a man] Grissom: Who the hell are you? Joker: It's me, Sugar bumps. Grissom: Jack? Oh, oh, thank God you're alive! I heard you'd been... Joker: Fried? Is that what you heard? You set me up over a wo...
Alfred Pennyworth: I have no wish to fill my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.
The Joker: Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.
The Joker: Sometimes I just kill myself!
Vicki Vale: You're insane! Joker: I thought I was a Pisces.
