Cab Driver: I knew this would end up in the nuthouse. Mr. Witherspoon: [offended] We like to think of it as a rest home!
Mortimer Brewster: You didn't want the reverend to see the body? Aunt Abby: Well, not at tea. That wouldn't have been very nice.
[Meeting with Dr. Gilchrist in the cemetery] Mortimer Brewster: Pull up a tombstone!
Jonathan Brewster: Tonight, we are taking care of Mortimer. Dr. Einstein: But, Johnny, not tonight. I'm sleepy. We'll do it tomorrow, or the next day. Jonathan Brewster: Look at me, Doctor. You can see that it's got to be done, can't you? Dr. Einstei...
Aunt Abby: [to Mortimer] Now, Mortimer, you behave. You're too old to be flying off the handle like this!
Aunt Abby Brewster: Just the thought of Jonathan frightens me. Do you remember how he used to cut worms in two with his teeth? Mortimer Brewster: Oh, Jonathan? He's probably in prison or hanged or something by now.
Mortimer Brewster: [trying to make Jonathan leave] Now, Jonathon. Be a good fellow. Here's ten dollars. Go out and haunt yourself a hotel?
Mortimer Brewster: [watching the fighting, lighting up a cigarette] Go on - fight, fight. I don't care. Mortimer Brewster: [watching the police trying to bring down Jonathan with a shoe] Oh, don't do that. It never works. Mortimer Brewster: [Jonathan...
Teddy Brewster: [after charging up the stairs] Charge the blockhouse! Reverend Harper: Blockhouse? Aunt Abby: Yes. The stairs are always San Juan Hill.
[Mortimer has just been talking to his aunts but was interrupted by the phone ringing. He now hangs it up] Mortimer Brewster: Now, where was I? Twelve... *TWELVE*? [He runs back to talk to his aunts again]
[to Mortimer on Teddy] Dr. Gilchrist: I've just been appointed Ambassador to Bolivia.
Mortimer Brewster: [to Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha] Come here. I've got the two nicest Aunts in the world. Of course, you've got the nicest nephew in the world, too.
Martha Brewster: [about the men they have poisoned] Let me see, now. This is eleven, isn't it, Abby? Abby Brewster: Oh, no, dear. This makes twelve. Martha Brewster: Abby, dear. I think you're wrong. This one is only eleven. Abby Brewster: No, dear, ...
Jonathan Brewster: [to Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha] Dr. Einstein and I need a place to sleep. You remember that, as a boy, I could be disagreeable. It would not be pleasant for any of us if... I don't have to go into details, do I?
Teddy Brewster: [as Theodore Roosevelt] I'll be in my office vetoing bills.
Martha Brewster: Are you leaving, Doctor? Dr. Einstein: Yes, please.
Elaine Harper: [Mortimer is feeling amorous in the cemetery with Elaine] Mortimer! Right out here in the open with everyone looking? Mortimer Brewster: Yes, right out here in the open with everyone looking. Let everyone in Brooklyn over sixteen look!
Elaine Harper: Now, wait a minute! Listen! You can't marry me one minute and throw me out of the house the next. Mortimer Brewster: I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house! Will you get out of here? [pushes her ...
