Mortimer Brewster: Look I probably should have told you this before but you see... well... insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops.
[last lines] Mortimer Brewster: No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm the son of a sea-cook! Ha! Ha! Chaaaaarrrge! [he runs off across the cemetary] Cab Driver: And I'm not a cab driver, I'm a coffee pot!
Elaine Harper: But Mortimer, you're going to love me for my mind, too. Mortimer Brewster: One thing at a time!
[discussing the body count] Dr. Einstein: You got twelve, they got twelve. [angrily grabs Dr. Einstein's necktie] Jonathan Brewster: I've got thirteen! Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny, twelve - don't brag. Jonathan Brewster: Thirteen! There's Mr. Spinalzo a...
Mortimer Brewster: Aunt Abby, how can I believe you? There are twelve men down in the cellar and you admit you poisoned them. Aunt Abby Brewster: Yes, I did. But you don't think I'd stoop to telling a fib.
Aunt Martha: For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide. Mortimer Brewster: Hmm. Should have quite a kick.
Mortimer Brewster: The name Brewster is code for Roosevelt. Teddy Brewster: Code for Roosevelt? Mortimer Brewster: Yes. Don't you see? Take the name Brewster, take away the B, and what have you got? Teddy Brewster: Rooster! Mortimer Brewster: Uh-huh....
Teddy Brewster: Mr. Witherfork! Mr. Witherspoon: Spoon! [Mortimer hands him a spoon]
Mortimer Brewster: Mr. President, may I have the pleasure of presenting... Teddy Brewster: Doctor Livingston? Dr. Gilchrist: Livingstone? Mortimer Brewster: Uh, well, that's what he presumes.
Lt. Rooney: Who are you? What's your name? Mortimer Brewster: Well, usually I'm Mortimer Brewster, but I'm not quite myself today.
Cab Driver: Hey! $22.50! Mortimer Brewster: What? Cab Driver: $22.50! Mortimer Brewster: Oh, yes, looks good on you! Cab Driver: Yeah. Not the suit, the meter!
[speaking of a character in a play he has seen] Mortimer Brewster: He sits there *waiting* to be tied up and gagged! [laughs] Mortimer Brewster: The big dope!
Teddy Brewster: [His first line] I must be catching cold. Abby Brewster: No, dear, it was Reverend Harper who sneezed.
Dr. Einstein: Where am I? Oh, here I am.
Mortimer Brewster: When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!
[on the telephone] Mortimer Brewster: Hello... Operator? Can you hear my voice? You can? Are you sure? [hangs up] Mortimer Brewster: Well, then I must be here.
[to Jonathan] Mortimer Brewster: Where did you get that face? Hollywood?
