Jonathan Brewster: [to Dr. Einstein] This is the home of my youth... As a boy, I couldn't wait to escape from this house. Now, I'm glad to escape back into it.
Teddy Brewster: [showing Einstein a photo] This is the picture I was telling you about, General. Here we are, both of us. President Roosevelt and General Goethals. That's me, General, and that's you. Dr. Einstein: My how I've changed.
Teddy Brewster: [Mr. Witherspoon has just met Teddy and Teddy pulls Mortimer aside] Is he trying to move into the White House before I've moved out? Mortimer Brewster: Who? Teddy Brewster: [points to Mr. Witherspoon] Taft!
Mortimer Brewster: I saw a play last week, it had a character in it, reminded me of Jonathon. Abby Brewster: Oh, really? Mortimer Brewster: Yeah, a honey of a lunatic. One of those whodunits called "Murder Will Out". Abby Brewster: Oh, dear! Mortimer...
Mortimer Brewster: [finding a second body in the window seat] Ye, Gods! There's another one!
Police Sgt. Brophy: Look, Sergeant, I promised ya I wouldn't swear but what the he - [stops, noticing the Reverend] Police Sgt. Brophy: What's goin' on here anyway? Reverend Harper: Oh, he's quite harmless. Police Sgt. Brophy: Thinks he's Teddy Roose...
Cab Driver: Hey, you! Five more bucks and you'll own it! Mortimer Brewster: Oh, no thanks! It wouldn't fit me!
Mortimer Brewster: What is this? Did everybody in Brooklyn know I was going to get married except me? Martha Brewster: We knew you'd find out about it in time.
Dr. Einstein: At least people in plays act like they've got sense. Mortimer Brewster: Oh, you think so? Did you ever see anybody in a play act like they got any intelligence? Dr. Einstein: [agonizing] How can somebody be so stupid!
Mortimer Brewster: Look, you can't do things like that! Now, I don't know how I can explain this to you. But, it's not only against the law, its wrong! Martha Brewster: Oh, piffle! Mortimer Brewster: It's not a nice thing to do. People wouldn't under...
Mortimer Brewster: Yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed, something blue - old, new! Rice and old shoes, carry you over the threshold, Niagara Falls - all the silly tripe I've made fun of for years. Is this what I've come to? I can't go...
Reverend Harper: Have you ever tried to persuade him that he wasn't Teddy Roosevelt? Abby Brewster: Oh, no. Martha Brewster: Oh, he's so happy being Teddy Roosevelt. Abby Brewster: Oh... Do you remember, Martha, once, a long time ago, we thought if h...
Martha Brewster: [to Mortimer] One of our gentlemen found time to say "How delicious"!
[Elaine is impatient to leave on the honeymoon] Elaine Harper: But, darling - Niagara Falls. Mortimer Brewster: It does? Well, let it.
[speaking of the Brewster sisters] Police Sgt. Brophy: They're two of the dearest, sweetest, kindest, old ladies that ever walked the earth. They're out of this world. They're like, they're like pressed rose leaves.
Jonathan Brewster: Teddy, I think it's time for you to go to bed. Teddy Brewster: I beg your pardon. Who are you? Jonathan Brewster: I'm Woodrow Wilson. Go to bed! Teddy Brewster: No, you're not Wilson, but you're face is familiar. Let me see. You're...
[after listening to Mortimer's description of a character in a play] Dr. Einstein: You know, you were right about that fellow. He wasn't very bright.
[Explaining to Elaine why they shouldn't be married] Mortimer Brewster: You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.
