[last lines] Alvy Singer: [narrating] After that it got pretty late, and we both had to go, but it was great seeing Annie again. I... I realized what a terrific person she was, and... and how much fun it was just knowing her; and I... I, I thought of...
Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing t...
[In California] Annie Hall: It's so clean out here. Alvy Singer: That's because they don't throw their garbage away, they turn it into television shows.
[first lines] Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such sma...
Alvy Singer: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?
[after sex with Annie] Alvy Singer: That sex was the most fun I've ever had without laughing.
[Alvy addresses a pair of strangers on the street] Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you? Female street stranger: Yeah. Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it? Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and...
Alvy Singer: Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college.
Alvy Singer: A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
Alvy Singer: Hey listen, gimme a kiss. Annie Hall: Really? Alvy Singer: Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right mov...
Alvy Singer: Awards! They always give out awards! I can't believe it. Greatest Fascist Dictator: Adolf Hitler.
Alvy Singer: I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
Alvy Singer: Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
Alvy Singer: It's mental masturbation! Annie Hall: And you would know all about THAT, wouldn't you? Alvy Singer: Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love.
[Alvy has killed two spiders] Alvy Singer: I did it. I killed 'em both. [Annie starts crying] Alvy Singer: What's the matter? What are you sad about? What did you want me to do? Capture 'em and rehabilitate 'em?
[Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen] Alvy Singer's Therapist: How often do you sleep together? Annie Hall's Therapist: Do you have sex often? Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week. A...
Annie Hall: Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture. Alvy Singer: You? You kiddin'? If the Gestapo would take away your Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em everything.
