Hoover: We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong. Boon: Every one? [looks at Bluto and D-Day] Boon: Those assholes must have stolen the wrong fucking ex...
Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer. Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up "on" Dean Wormer.
Boon: It's not gonna be an orgy! It's a toga party. Katy: Honestly, Boon, you're 21-years old. In six months you're going to graduate, and tomorrow night you're going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It's cut...
Dean Vernon Wormer: I hate those guys.
Charming guy with guitar: I gave my love a cherry / That had no stone / I gave my love a chicken / That had no bones / I gave my love a story / That had no end / I gave my... Bluto: [grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall] Sorry.
Pinto: Before we go any further, there's something I have to tell you. I lied to you. I've never done this before. Clorette De Pasto: You've never made out with a girl before? Pinto: No. No, I mean, I've never done what I think we're gonna do in a mi...
Boon: [At the bar in the Negro Dexter Lake Club, Boon turns to face the band] Otis, my man! [Otis pauses singing for a second and peers incredulously at Boon]
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now. [puts a scoop of mashed potatoes in his mouth and hits his cheeks with his fists and spits it out] Bluto: I'm a zit. Get it?
Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel. Boon: How long you been workin' on it? Jennings: Four and a half years. Pinto: It must be very good. Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?
Dean Vernon Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus? Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way. Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right...
Dean Vernon Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation! Otter: What a tool. Dean Vernon Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that? Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame ...
Hoover: Kent is a legacy, Otter. His brother was a '59, Fred Dorfman. Flounder: He said legacies usually get asked to pledge automatically. Otter: Oh, well, usually. Unless the pledge in question turns out to be a real closet-case. Otter, Boon: Like...
Neidermeyer: You're all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me twenty!
Gigantic Dude: Do you mind if we dance with your dates?
Otter: They kicked us out of school? That makes sense.
Babs: Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?
Bluto: They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!
Hoover: Will you tell those assholes to shut up? Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!
