Dean Vernon Wormer: Here are your grade point avarages. Mr. Kroger: two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman? Flounder: [drunk] Hello! Dean Vernon Wormer: 0.2... Fat, d...
[the Deltas have been expelled] Bluto: Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.
Otter: Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos. Boon: Beverly! Otter: No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!" Boon: Marlene! Don't tell me you're gonna pork Marlene Desmond! Otter: Pork? Boon...
Chip: [being spanked as part of Omega's initiation] Thank you, sir! May I have another?
[Dean Wormer's plotting to get rid of Delta House] Greg Marmalard: But Delta's already on probation. Dean Vernon Wormer: They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!
Doug Neidermeyer: And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.
Clorette De Pasto: Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married.
Boon: I want you to fix Pinto up, but it's got to be a very special girl. Pinto: Look, you don't have to... Boon: Now, she should be good-looking, but we're willing to trade looks for a certain... morally casual attitude. Katy: You mean you want some...
Mayor Carmine De Pasto: If you want this year's homecoming parade in my town, you have to pay for it. Dean Vernon Wormer: Carmine, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college. Mayor Carmine De Pasto: Look, these parades you...
Dean Vernon Wormer: The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
[Clorette has just passed out] Larry's evil conscience: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it. Larry's good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I'm surprised at you! Larry's evil conscience: Aw, don't list...
[Flounder has just fired a blank cartridge near Neidermeyer's horse, and the horse has dropped dead] Bluto: Holy shit! D-Day: There were blanks in that gun! Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him! Bluto: Holy shit! [D-Day checks the gun] D-Day:...
D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it. Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up... you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can he...
[Otter and Mrs. Wormer are in the supermarket vegetable section] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger. [Marion looks questioningly at him] Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger. I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you? Marion Wor...
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: You guys up for a toga party? John 'Bluto' Blutarsky: Toga! Toga! Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Ah, I think they like the idea, Hoov.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make a pot for me.
Boon: I gotta work on my game. Otter: No, no, no, don't think of it as work. The whole point is just to enjoy yourself.
