I had a dream about you. We were business partners. We had a pizza parlor/urinal repair shop, and to our great surprise we had no customers. Some businesses fail because they’re simply ahead of their time.
I had a dream about you. We were both in the finals at the World Cuddling Championships, and my partner was my cat, Cap’n “The Sweetness” Kintz, and yours was a Teddy Bear named Teddy. While Teddy’s body could be manipulated in ways that woul...
I had a dream about you. I was a cat. You were a red dot. And even those times I caught you, we couldn't touch. But still I chased you anyway.
I had a dream about you. We were shoveling dollar bills and used diapers and laughing like children. I was dancing like I had a fog machine in my pants, and I did, which is my moves were so mysterious.
I had a dream about you. Half the people wanted to kill me, and half the people wanted me as their President. It was up to you whether I lived or reigned, and you made the logical choice—you chose not to choose. You exercised your right to not exer...
I had a dream about you. You had just developed a way to drink sleep, and I owned a coffee shop. You wanted to partner up, but I suggested a more natural fit would be with a hotel. I recommended a sleazy one downtown, where all the hookers go to sell...
I had a dream about you. We drank coffee and laughed like old friends, even though we were strangers bathing in the Brown River of Wakefulness. I laughed because you were naked, and you laughed because I’d just overpaid for a cup of coffee at Starb...
I had a dream about you. We were waiting in line, and you were right in front of me. The line was three people long, and I felt like the bronze medalist of the Checkout Championship. You must have felt like a winner, because you didn’t seem to be i...
I had a dream about you. I had superhuman strength, not unlike I possess when I’m awake, and you wanted me to enter and win the World’s Strongest Man competition. I told you my super strength should be used for the good of humanity, as I tossed a...
I had a dream about you. You were the lead guitarist in a band with no voice, and you were holding auditions for lead singer. Everybody in line in front of me and behind me was a mime, so I felt confident I’d get the gig. I felt my performance was ...
I had a dream about you. You took a cruise, and I took a canoe. I paddled alongside your ship out into the Atlantic Ocean and down to the Caribbean. I shouted “I love you” the whole way, but you couldn’t hear me, probably because that man you w...
I had a dream about you, You were peeing behind a house and when I approached you, you smiled and said to me "Your face makes me happy" I was so flattered by your words and impressed that you could pee and still talk to me. ...
I had a dream about you. You were cooking me dinner, and I was standing by the stove questioning your every move. You found me ungrateful, and I found the number for Chinese takeout. I may not have wanted your food, but I still wanted your love. Your...
I had a dream about you. I was cooking spaghetti for two, and when you asked what I was doing, I said, “I’m cooking spaghetti for two.” Then you said I was the most romantic man you’d ever met, and I nodded my head and said, “I just hope th...
I had a dream about you. I had a boomerang and you had a Frisbee. You asked if I wanted to play catch, and I said yes. Then you stood around waiting for me to throw to you, and I just looked at you like you were crazy, because I had a boomerang—and...
I had a dream about you. The blue sky matched the blue in your eyes, though you had a few more clouds in your irises. When you got sad, you didn’t cry—you rained, and that’s why I approached you to try to sell you a nose umbrella, something tha...
I had a dream about you reviewing a book on Reading Rainbow. Unlike the others, you were brutally honest in your feedback and brought Lavar and I to tears.
I had a dream about you. I asked you to dance, and you said you already had a partner. That was when I noticed you were embracing a mannequin, and I felt my face get flushed and I felt flustered. It’s embarrassing when a mannequin is a better dance...
