I had a dream about you. A stadium full of children in glowing white robes were singing your name like little angels, and I wondered who you were to be deserving of such praise. Then it was revealed to me that you were the inventor of the condom, and these children were the Never Borns, and they were thanking you for not having had to experience the pain that only exists on earth. I tried to get them to start singing my name too, by saying I make love alone, and thus am equally responsible for not bringing them into existence, but they didn’t seem as grateful.