I had a dream about you. We were running on the beach in the moonlight, the sand glimmering like bronzed skin. The air was saturated with laughter, some of it was ours, but mostly it was from the audience seated in the stadium parallel to the ocean. I was enjoying being the star, until I realized I was naked, and the audience wasn’t laughing with me—they were laughing at me. Why didn’t anybody tell me I have an elephant trunk for a penis?