We all have different languages; but we all really mean the same thing.
I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy.
Few activities are as delightful as learning new vocabulary.
I like the name Lola, because it has LOL in the beginning.
Nipples—men have them, but don’t need them. Men—women have them, but don’t need them. Women—I don’t have them, but I need them. All of them.
If I earn 10 dollars, I’m saving 11 of them.
Mrder—all I need is u.
The Bronze Age was such a third-place era.
The all-knowing yesterday is obsolete today.
Everybody’s gotta have somebody to step on. Makes ’em feel important.
I could fuck on my back like 4:44. But I don’t. I do it like 3:33.
I picked up the knife to cut the melon, and then smashed it with my fist instead.
What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.
I don’t think he’s good with people because he’s a salesman—I think he’s a salesman because he’s good with people.
I ate Satan, and then shit out a snake.
I thought she was sexy until I noticed she had a beard.
Sexy isn’t my middle name. Lust-factory is, with the hyphen.
Thoughtlessness—I try not to think about it.
Five minutes ago it was five minutes late, and my watch is five minutes slow.
I like my spaghetti like I like my women. All over my shirt.
I treat women like royalty. But not from a Bolshevik perspective.
