I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her. She blinked - her thoughts at the time were of another I could not win her heart 20 years and many others who did. I would have been there,any time - anywhere. I was there, though all those gaps all her heartaches - all her pain and still it was never me. Never me, never would be be. 20 years holding out - I may have the real thing in the next 20 years - still it will never be her. I am not dead and she is not a ghost. save yourself - you can no longer save me.