A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out. A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you down there." An objective person walked by and said, "It's logical that someone would fall down there." A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into pits." A mathematician calculated how deep the pit was. A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the pit. A self-pitying person said, "You haven't seen anything until you've seen my pit." A fire-and-brimstone preacher said, "You deserve your pit." A Christian Scientist observed, "The pit is just in your mind." A psychologist noted, "Your mother and father are to blame for your being in that pit." A self-esteem therapist said, "Believe in yourself and you can get out of that pit." An optimist said, "Things could be worse." A pessimist claimed, "Things will get worse." Jesus, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.