I have a 60-acre farm in North Carolina, and I have a tractor and a farmhouse. As soon as I groom the land, I want to put cabins around and have a place where people can write and hang out. It'll be either that or an all-black nudist colony.
I like dark comedies. That's why I like the Wayans Brothers.
As a comic, it's anti-comedy to be known. I think a lot of comedic actors get lost in this world of Hollywood and all this stuff. They lose what brought them there in the first place. I'm very trepidatious about it.
Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.
I am going to be the next Ryan Gosling.
I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.
I just try to keep myself a traditionalist. I liked being an underground comic doing my thing. I want to maintain that. I just do.
I haven't been hit since Leon Spinks hit me in '92.
When a role seems fun it's easy to play. It kind of comes organically.
I kind of put myself out there as is. I'm a quiet person. I don't know if that's surprising. I'm a Pilates junkie.
Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier.
I really have no preference between TV and film. I think that each individual project is its own thing and has a very different style.
These critics who crucify me do not guess the littlest part of my sincerity. They must be burned in a blaze. I cannot learn from them.
The Indian story has never been written. Maybe I am the man to do it.
There are hours when I must force the novel out of my mind and be interested in the children.
No one connected intimately with a writer has any appreciation of his temperament, except to think him overdoing everything.
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.
I don't remember anybody's name. How do you think the 'dahling' thing got started?
Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles.
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
