Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
I can't fight. I was once run over by a car with a flat tire, being pushed by two guys.
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel...
You are dead, you know!” he screeched delightedly, “Come on Miss Wright! Die! Die! DIE!
America fears the unshaven legs, the unshaven men's cheeks, the aroma of perspiration, and the limp prick. Above all it fears the limp prick.
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
Practicing art is a meditation; an artwork is an insight.
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
More of life seems to live inside us than out. Happiness is when you connect both of them.
