When I came out to Hollywood in 1985, I thought that I would be sitcom star. I'm a tall, skinny, goofy guy. I thought that I would make a great funny neighbor, or wacky office mate, in a sitcom.
The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining mome...
I'm funny at home too, but not deliberately. My wife is usually laughing at me rather than with me.
I'm just an entertainer. All I want to be is funny. I never aspired to play Hamlet.
Cable is a great medium. It's something I respond to. I'm not doing sitcoms. People don't find me funny. That's just the way it is.
I don't think just funny is enough on Broadway.
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.
The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.
Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.
I really, really like 'Eastbound & Down.' It's one of the few things that makes me laugh. It's almost too funny to get an award.
Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.
You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.
I found that I could write two kinds of short stories: I could write very absurd, kind of surrealistic, funny stories; or I could write very dark, realistic - hyper-realistic - stories. I was never happy with that, because I couldn't meld the two.
Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way.
My job is summer camp. I come and talk and try to make a TV show funny.
It's funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don't want to chase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing.
Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character rig...
If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
