Funny Quotes

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Charles M. Schulz

'Thunderbolts' I was mostly attracted to because I really wanted to write Punisher and Elektra and Deadpool, who are characters I have always really enjoyed. But the funny thing is that over time, I came to really like Red Leader; he became one of my...

Charles Soule

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.

Charlie Sheen

But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.

Charlie Sheen

It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so I always wanted to wear those looks. When I was a child, I wouldn't let my mom put me in anything but calico dresses and now... whaddaya kn...

Chloe Sevigny

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Calvin Trillin

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

Calvin Trillin

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

Calvin Trillin

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

Calvin Trillin

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

Carrot Top

I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.

Carrot Top

In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad. But in a movie, since no one is allowed to laugh or do anything, when you're done with a scene, you're left asking, 'Was that funny?'

Carrot Top

When I realised I had a facility for humour, I latched on to it, and it gave me confidence and I built my personality around it. So I subconsciously made myself become the funny one so that would be my label rather than the ginger one or the red-face...

Catherine Tate

I realised that if you get yourself labeled as the funny one, people don't look any further. I've used that as I've got older. It's controlling: I decide what part of my personality you're seeing. I don't want you to look at me, I really don't. I don...

Catherine Tate

It's funny because I want my teeth to be, like, neon 'Real Housewives' white, but mine have stopped taking to teeth whitening. When I talk to my dentist, I'm like, 'They can be that white,' and he's like, 'Veneers can be that white.'

Christine Teigen

I really loved what I was doing being creative and being funny as a stand-up comedian.

Chris Tucker

The young Dickens was so alive, so self-confident, so funny.

Claire Tomalin

I was first in Sydney in 1993, and have been a few times since then. For someone who didn't know Australia, it came as a shock how intelligent, interesting and funny the people were. If I lived there I might see it differently, but as a visitor it wa...

Colm Toibin

I think with 'Chunky Rice,' it felt novel to me to give this emo twist on these funny animals.

Craig Thompson

My parents were from New England. It's very funny, but when I grew up, you always had to say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'Yes, sir.'

Cy Twombly

'Jurassic Park' movies don't fit into a specific genre. They're sci-fi adventures that also have to be funny, emotional, and scary as hell. That takes a lot of construction, but it can't feel designed.

Colin Trevorrow