Funny Quotes

Humor, for me, is really a gate of departure. It's a way of enticing a reader into a poem so that less funny things can take place later. It really is not an end in itself, but a means to an end.

Billy Collins

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Billy Connolly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

Billy Connolly

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Billy Corgan

A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.

Billy Corgan

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

Billy Crystal

From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.

Billy Crystal

Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding mediums to express themselves.

Brendan Coyle

You can't be a casual observer of something humorous - you have to engage, you have to find it funny for the relationship between actor and audience to work.

Brendan Coyle

I think with Sky and BBC Three and Channel 4, there are some great television platforms, and the stand-up movement in this country is phenomenal. It's like rock n' roll here. Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of the...

Brendan Coyle

I actually went to see 'Rushmore,' and I came late, and I missed myself. It was great, that scene. I caught that scene the other day on TV, funny enough, the first scene that you see with Jason Schwartzman and myself, where we talk about his grades. ...

Brian Cox

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

Brian P. Cleary

It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.

Bryan Cranston

As for our majority... one is enough.

Benjamin Disraeli

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nut...

Beth Ditto

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Bette Davis

Relaxing at home in his 55th-floor condominium before a game, Sammy Sosa is the same as at the ball park: focused but funny, exuberant but reserved. He is in a strange country, conversing in two languages, but his every movement displays a combinatio...

Bill Dedman

My husband was very special and very funny and outspoken, and he would have a black and blue every so often because under the table, I'd say, 'Don't say that!'

Blythe Danner

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

Bobby Darin

I thought it would be funny to go to my Korean dry cleaner and ask her about my head shot, as if it's the most important thing in the world, and as if it's something that everyone should weigh on because it's important to me.

Billy Eichner

There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me.

Billy Eichner