Funny Quotes

My lyrics are generated by various peculiar processes. Very random and similar to automatic writing.

Brian Eno

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

Bruce Forsyth

It's very rare that I get really upset about something my assistants have done.

Brad Goreski

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

Bob Hope

I'm a clean freak and a germaphobe - I have hand sanitizer in my pocket.

Brittany Murphy

All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

Bob Newhart

There isn't a comedian in the world that hasn't bombed.

Bob Newhart

Kung matatakot kang harapin ang totoo at sabihin ang talagang nararamdaman mo dahil baka masaktan ka, isa lang ibig sabihin noon: ipinagkait mo na sa sarili mo ang pagiging masaya at kinarir mo ang magpakatanga.

Bob Ong

Usually the wacky people have the breakthroughs. The 'smart' people don't.

Burt Rutan

To me, what makes an artist is a unique personality that they're not afraid to let show.

Blake Shelton

I don't give a crap about clowns.

Blake Shelton

The Black Panther Party were not revenge nationalists.

Bobby Seale

Its not that I'm weird; it's that it's weird not to be weird

Becky Scheff

I was the class clown type of guy.

Bobb'e J. Thompson

It's really fantastic because families can come to my shows and they all like it. It's really weird.

Bonnie Tyler

I have to say, though, it's a little strange doing both because Durant is very straight and stern and austere.

Corbin Bernsen

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.

Carroll Bryant

The extraordinary thing about my mother, she's so modest about me.

George Gershwin

I think that testosterone is a rare poison.

Germaine Greer

The Ohio State University has a rich - if quiet - heritage of the arts.

Gordon Gee

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

Glenn Howerton