[General Turgenson's phone rings in the war room] General "Buck" Turgidson: Hello... [whispering] General "Buck" Turgidson: I told you never to call me here, don't you know where I am?... Well look, baby, I c-, I *can't* talk to you now... my preside...
Frank Childers: I told you I ain't got no boy, now why don't you get on outta here and let me be. You ain't no kin to me. Karl: [after a pause] I learned to read some. I read the Bible quite a bit. I can't understand all of it, but I reckon I underst...
David Larrabee: What makes you so sure Sabrina still wants me? Linus Larrabee: Of course she wants you. She's wanted you all her life! David Larrabee: Until you came along in that silly homburg. Linus Larrabee: Well, suppose you straighten that silly...
Tony Montana: What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy...
Tony Montana: Bet you feel good, huh? Bet you feel good to kill a mother and her kids, huh, bet you feel *big*... Alberto The Shadow: Shut your mouth! Tony Montana: ...Like, you big man. Well fuck you. What do you think I am? You think I'd kill two k...
[Tony is on a payphone describing the botched drug deal involving Hector the Toad] Tony Montana: [into the phone] Yeah, it was a setup. Bunch of cowboys. Somebody fucked up somewhere. Fuckin' Columbians. They never wanted to make the sale. They only ...
Brian: Want the head there, sweetheart? Come and get it! [Dwight jumps into the sewer, guns blazing] Brian: I coulda put a bullet in your ear just now, laddy, if I hadn't gone off and got me revolver all wet and useless. You got the drop on me love. ...
[eyeing the "KEEP OUT" signs surrounding Shrek's home] Donkey: I guess you don't, uh... entertain much. Shrek: I like my privacy. Donkey: Y'know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you tr...
[after Shane enters the bar and orders asks for a soda pop, Chris tries to bully him] Chris Calloway: Well, what'll it be? Lemon, strawberry or lilac, sodbuster? Shane: You speakin' to me? Chris Calloway: I don't see nobody else standin' there. [thro...
Dr. John Watson: What of Mary? Palm Reader: M for Mary. For marriage. Oh, you will be married! Dr. John Watson: [nodding his head slowly] Go on. Palm Reader: [looking intensely at Watson's palm] Oh, I see pattern tablecloth and... Oh, china figurines...
Saavik: Admiral, may I ask you a question? Kirk: What's on your mind, Lieutenant? Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir. Kirk: Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now? Saavik: On the test, sir... will you tell me what you did? I would real...
Jayne Cobb: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode! Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms. Jayne Cobb: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open. Capt. Malcolm Reynol...
[singing] Sweeney Todd: Alright! You, sir? How about a shave? Come and visit your good friend Sweeney! You sir! Too, sir. Welcome to the grave... I will have vengeance. I will have salvation... Who, sir? You sir!No one's in the chair. Come on, come o...
[outside the witches' castle] Septimus: [as he holds a sword to Tristan's throat] Who are you? What business do you have here? Tristan: [he sees the number 7 mark on Septimus' hand] Septimus... I knew your brother, Primus. Septimus: Unless you wish t...
Saddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing. Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker! [rays shoot from malfunctioning V-chip and kill a demon from hell] Stan: Do it Cartman! Do it! Ca...
Kyle: Ok. Let's try this one more time. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! Ike Broflovski: Don't kick the baby. Kyle: Kick the baby! [Kicks Ike through a window, causing it to shatter] Sheila Broflovski: Ike! You broke ANOTHER window! That's a bad baby! Baaa...
[Han answers the intercom after comandeering an attack station] Han Solo: [sounding official] Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal. Voice: What happened? Han Solo: [getting nervous] Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... every...
Gold Two: [the Y-wings are running the gauntlet toward the Death Star reactor-port] The guns - they've stopped! Gold Five: [realizes why] Stabilize your rear deflectors... Watch for enemy fighters. Gold Leader: They're coming in! Three marks at 2-10!...
Stan Gursky: Alonzo, heard you had an expensive weekend in Vegas. How did you ever screw up so bad? Alonzo: Hey, I didn't know. It's not my town. I'm not omniscient. Lou Jacobs: The Russians don't care if you have a badge. They'll whack you. You ough...
Alonzo: Why do you wanna be a narc? Jake: I want to protect the streets by ridding it of dangerous drugs. Alonzo: Yeah, but why do you wanna be a narc? Jake: I wanna make detective. Alonzo: There you go. You stick around with me, you'll make it. Unle...
[Arriving back from their first date] Aurora Greenway: Would you like to come in? Garrett Breedlove: I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. Aurora Greenway: Everything would have been just fine, you know, if you hadn't gotten drunk. I was... I... I jus...
