Peter Warne: Excuse me, lady, but that upon which you sit, is mine. Ellie Andrews: I beg your pardon! Peter Warne: Now, listen. I put up a stiff battle for that seat. So if it's just the same to you - scram. Ellie Andrews: [ignoring him] Driver! Are ...
[Bob is explaining an insurance policy loophole to a Mrs. Hogenson] Bob: [whispering] Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third...
[Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building] Bob: Can't you put this out? Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast! Bob: What's that mean? Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob! Bob: You're...
Budd: Larry, there ain't nobody out there! Larry Gomez: [strung-out tone] "There ain't nobody out there... Larry." What's your point? That you're not needed here? Budd: My point is, I'm the bouncer... and there ain't nobody out there to bounce! Larry...
Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: What? I was getting ready for my blind date. Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Blind date? Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Oh, a date with a blind boy. Lajjo Kapur's Sister: No wonder she has blindfolded herself. Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: Blind dat...
Rohit Patel: [In front of table with lots of food] What is all this? Rohit's Mother: This Mango, That is Khus, so no fuss Rohit Patel: Not the food!... All this singing and dancing Rohit's Mother: Oh! That! That's our Silver Anniversary Wedding Rehea...
Big Joe: According to this map, we got a river to cross before we get into this town of yours. Kelly: Yeah, well there's a bridge right here, six miles out. Big Joe: There was a bridge. The Air Corps knocked every bridge out of that river months ago....
[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling] Po: What? Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu. Po: Oh, yeah, yeah. [imitating Shifu] Po: You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 50...
Po: But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles? Mr. Ping: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu. Po: So why didn't you? Mr. Ping: Oh, because...
"Hatchet" Harry: Yeah? That you, boy? Eddie: It's Ed, if that's you mean. "Hatchet" Harry: Pay day, ain't it? Eddie: Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about that. "Hatchet" Harry: I'll bet you do. I got half a million nicker sitting here, which means s...
Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies. Francis: Good...
Ben the Prisoner: Quite the jailer's pet, are we? Brian: What do you mean? Ben the Prisoner: You must have slipped him a few shekels, eh? Brian: Slipped him a few shekels-you saw him spit in my face! Ben the Prisoner: Oh, what wouldn't I give to be s...
[White catches a parolee beating his wife] Wife Beater: Who in the hell are you? Bud White: The ghost of Christmas past. Why don't you dance with a man for a change? Wife Beater: What are you, some kind of smart ass? [tries to attack Bud] Bud White: ...
[Russell comes back from his meeting with the senior soldiers, where they got mad about the tax cancellation, a soldier salutes and walks by... ] Capt. Russell: Is that the way a soldier behaves? You're SUPPOSED TO SALUTE when a superior officer pass...
Umpire: No ball! Capt. Russell: [as he and Yardley, slightly incredulous, go over to the umpire] What? Umpire: No ball! Yardley: You're kidding me... Capt. Russell: "No ball"? What do you mean, "no ball"? Umpire: His foot was over the line. Capt. Rus...
Pippin: [kneeling] I offer you my service, such as it is, in payment of this debt. Denethor: This is my first command to you. How did you escape, and my son did not, so mighty a man as he was? Pippin: The mightiest man may be slain by one arrow... an...
Jean Valjean: How have you come to grief in a place such as this? Fantine: M'sieur, don't mock me now, I pray. It's hard enough I've lost my pride. You let your foreman send me away - yes, you were there, and turned aside. I never did no wrong Jean V...
Sir Jonathan Tutt: So, you must be Simon. I'm the British Ambassador to the UN, Sir Jonathan Tutt. Well, this is it, ladies and gentlemen. This is the United Nations. We, sir, are in here. So, if there's anything you need, just give me a whistle. You...
Nick: [on phone] Slevin, do you know what time it is? Slevin: Yeah, I'm at the airport. Are you sure you want me to come out? Nick: Yeah, just think... two weeks in New York and the only Kelly you'll remember is the Kelly who gave you your first hand...
Algren: [Algren's 'conversations' with the Silent Samurai] I know why you don't talk. Because you're angry. You're angry because they make you wear a dress. Algren: [later, after being beaten to the ground by Uijo] I just realized, I've been remiss. ...
Johnny Caspar: You think that I'm some guinea, fresh off the boat, and you can kick me! But I'm too big for that now. I'm sick a' takin the scrap from you, Leo. I'm a' of marching into this goddamn office to kiss your Irish ass. And I'M SICK A' THE H...
