[the shaving contest has just started] Signor Adolfo Pirelli: Now, signorini, signori, / We mix-a da lather / But first-a you gather / Around, signorini, signori, / You looking a man / Who have had-a da glory / To shave-a da Pope! / Mr. Sweeney whoev...
Henry Gondorff: What's your problem? Doyle Lonnegan: I'm putting half a million dollars on Lucky Dan to win, third race at Riverside Park. Henry Gondorff: Can't lay that off in time. A bet like that could break us. [Hooker stares at him incredulously...
James T. Kirk: [hurling to his death with Sulu] Kirk to Enterprise. We're falling without a chute. Beam us up! Transport Chief: I'm trying. I can't lock onto your signal. James T. Kirk: Beam us up! Transport Chief: You're moving too fast! James T. Ki...
Spock: I am as conflicted as I once was as a child. Sarek: You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this, and for you. Spock: I feel anger for the one who took Mother's life - an anger I *cannot* control. Sarek: I believe... that s...
[Kirk drives his stepfather's Corvette toward a cliff. As he skids sideways, he jumps out before the Corvette falls off while he hangs on the edge of the cliff. The Iowa cop chasing him steps off his bike as Kirk climbs off the cliff] Young Kirk: Is ...
Buzz Lightyear #2: Will somebody *please* explain what's going on? Buzz Lightyear: It's all right, Space Ranger. It's a code 546. Buzz Lightyear #2: [gasps] You mean it's a...? Buzz Lightyear: Yes. Buzz Lightyear #2: And he's a...? Buzz Lightyear: Oh...
Prescott: [Plainview has just left a town meeting] Mr. Plainview! No! Where are you going? Plainview: I don't need the lease, thank you. Prescott: We need you, we need you to... Plainview: Too much confusion! Thank you for your time. Prescott: No, no...
Nefretiri: Did you think my kiss was a promise of what you'll have. No, my pompous one. It was to let you know what you will not have. I could never love you. Rameses: Does that matter? You will be my wife. You will come to me whenever I call you, an...
Memnet: What have you found? Bithiah: The answer to my prayers! Memnet: [in light humor] You prayed for a basket? Bithiah: No. I prayed for a son. Memnet: Your husband is in the House of the Dead. Bithiah: And he has asked the Nile god to bring me th...
[the other outlaws have left, Mattie heats water on the fire] Tom Chaney: What are you doin'? Mattie Ross: I'm getting some water so I can wash my hands. Tom Chaney: A liitle smut won't hurt you. Mattie Ross: That's true - or else you and your chums ...
President of Exchange: [Randolph Duke has just collapsed with shock] Mortimer, your brother is not well. We better call an ambulance. Mortimer Duke: Fuck him! Now, you listen to me! I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! T...
Billy Ray Valentine: [being pushed away by the doorman] Hey, man! I really don't appreciate this! I don't care what it is! A spiced ham! Anything! Some crackers! [the Dukes enter the building] Billy Ray Valentine: Thanks a lot. How'd you like a stump...
Punk Leader: [the Terminator arrives naked and encounters some punks] Nice night for a walk, eh? The Terminator: Nice night for a walk. Punk: Wash day tomorrow? Nothing clean, right? The Terminator: Nothing clean. Right. Punk Leader: Hey, I think thi...
Clarence Worley: I can't tell you... that was one of the best times I ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took of...
Douglas Quaid: Ever heard of Rekall? They sell those fake memories. Harry: Oh, "Rekall, Rekall, Rekall." You thinking of going there? Douglas Quaid: I don't know, maybe. Harry: Well, don't. A friend of mine tried one their "special offers," nearly go...
Dr. Lull: [after Quaid goes crazy at Rekall] Listen to me, he's been going on and on about Mars. He's really been there. Bob McClane: Use your head, you dumb bitch! He's just acting out the secret agent portion of his Ego Trip. Dr. Lull: I'm afraid t...
[the traitorous Benny shoots George/Kuato] Benny: Congradulations, Quaid. You led us right to him. Douglas Quaid: Benny? Why? Melina: How can you do this? You're a mutant. Benny: [shrugs] I got four kids to feed. Douglas Quaid: So what happened to nu...
Benny: Hey, man, you need a cab? Douglas Quaid: Well, what's wrong with this one? [points to other cabbie] Benny: [laughs] He ain't got five kids to feed. Douglas Quaid: Where's yours? Benny: Right over there man. [takes Quaid with him] Punk Cabbie: ...
Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay? Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon. Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Fro...
Mr. Potato Head: [while playing Battleship] Ah, ha. B-3. Hamm: Miss. G-6. Mr. Potato Head: Aw, you sunk it! [Hamm chuckles] Mr. Potato Head: Are you peeking? Hamm: Hey, quit your whining and pay up. [Mr. Potato Head plls off one of his ears] Hamm: No...
Bobby Jay Bliss: Did you know that you can fool the breathalizer test by chewing on activated charcoal tablets? Polly Bailey: Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal." Nick Naylor: Won't the police ask a...
