Joe: So, you guys like to tell jokes, huh? Gigglin' and laughin' like a bunch of young broads sittin' in a schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five guys, sittin' in a bullpen, in San Quentin. All wondering how the fuck they got there. What should w...
Raymond: Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes. Charlie: We haven't ordered yet, Ray. Raymond: Of course when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes, it'll definitely be too late. Charlie: How is that gonna be too late...
Joey Gazelle: [after Teresa confesses to killing the pedophiles] Why couldn't you just have taken the kid and left? Why couldn't you just have taken the kid and left? Teresa Gazelle: I have never seen evil before tonight, Joe. Real fucking evil. Okay...
[first lines] Voice on radio: Men, are you over 40? When you wake up in the morning, do you feel tired and rundown? Do you have that listless feeling... [the camera pans around the courtyard; cut to later in the day] Jeff: [answering phone] Jefferies...
Ray Charles: That's Diz. Emanon! Quincy Jones: Yeah, but what's it spell backwards? Ray Charles: Come on man, why don't you give me something difficult? "No name." Quincy Jones: Say, daddy-o, what axe you play? Ray Charles: Uh, piano. Just blew in fr...
Sefton: Okay, Herr Preisshoffer, let's have the mailbox. Price: The what? Sefton: The one you took out of the corner of your bunk and put in this pocket! [pulls a black queen out of Price's jacket] Sefton: Let me show you how they did it. They did it...
Lloyd Dobler: What? I'm sorry I said that. Forget I said it, it's what I thought I meant, but... Diane Court: Lloyd... Lloyd Dobler: ...forget it. Diane Court: [making air quotes] "I love you," okay? Lloyd Dobler: What is that? What are you doing wit...
[after learning of the Doomsday Machine] President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing? Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up...
Doyle: You know what, by God? Linda: What? Doyle: I know what I oughta do tonight. Linda: Please don't. Doyle: Mmm-hmm. I'm gonna call up Morris and have him get the band together. We're gonna have a party. Party our asses off. I'd love to show them ...
Cmdr. William Riker: We finished our first sensor sweep of the neutral zone. Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Oh, fascinating. Twenty particles of space dust per cubic meter, 52 ultraviolet radiation spikes, and a class-2 comet. Well, this is certainly worth...
Shrek: Princess, I was SENT to rescue you by Lord Farquad, okay? HE's the one that wants to marry you. Princess Fiona: Well, why didn't he come to rescue me? Shrek: Good question! You can ask him that when we get there... Princess Fiona: But I'm supp...
Darth Vader: Luke... help me take this mask off. Luke: But you'll die. Darth Vader: Nothing... can stop that now. Just for once... let me... look on you with my *own* eyes. [Luke takes off Darth Vader's mask one piece at a time. Underneath, Luke sees...
The Emperor: [In the throne room, Luke is watching the Imperial fleet attack the Rebels from the huge throne room window] As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL bat...
Raoul Silva: [Silva unbuttons Bond's shirt and peels back the shirt to expose the scar tissue where Bond removed the bullet] Ooh! See what she's done to you. James Bond: [suspicious] Well, she never tied me to a chair. Raoul Silva: Her loss. [Silva b...
McCoy: [Kirk runs in to the engine room and sees Spock inside the reactor compartment. He rushes over but McCoy and Scotty hold him back] No! You'll flood the whole compartment! Kirk: He'll die! Scotty: Sir! He's dead already. McCoy: It's too late. [...
Maria: Reverend Mother, I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. -The hills were beckoning and... the sky was so blue today... and everything was so green and fragrant, I had to be a part of it. The Untersberg led me higher like it wanted me to go through ...
Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back. Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth! Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she? Ham Porter: WHAT? WHAT? Kenny: The sultan of swat! Bertram: The king of crash! Timmy: The colossus of clout! Tommy: Th...
Ham Porter: *play ball!* Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing] Ham Porter: Haha, that's one. [cuts to new pitch] Ham Porter: [to the batter] You know, if my dog...
Ramon: We have visitors. Tremendous visitors! Two simply enormous Roman lords on the hill. Batiatus: How easily impressed you are, Ramon. Just 'cause they're Romans, I suppose they're enormous. Tell them to wait for me when they arrive. Ramon: Master...
Boggs: Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give ya to swallow. And after you swallow mine you're gonna swallow Rooster's cause ya done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for it. Andy Dufresne: Anything ...
Old James Ryan: [addressing Capt. Miller's grave] My family is with me today. They wanted to come with me. To be honest with you, I wasn't sure how I'd feel coming back here. Every day I think about what you said to me that day on the bridge. I tried...
