Dolores Umbridge: [Harry has come in to do his detention] You're going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter. [Potter opens his bag for his quill but Umbridge stops him] Dolores Umbridge: No, not with your quill. You're going to be using a rather...
Miss Kelly: Well what shall I say to Mr. Dowd? What do I do? He'll probably be so furious he'll refuse to come down here. Dr. Sanderson: Look, Miss Kelly. He's probably fit to be tied, but he's a man, isn't he? Miss Kelly: I guess so. His name's *Mis...
Richard Brown: Like that morning, when you walked out of that old house and you were, you were eighteen, and maybe I was nineteen. I was nineteen years old, and I'd never seen anything so beautiful. You, coming out of a glass door in your early morni...
Coach Norman Dale: You know, in the ten years that I coached, I never met anybody who wanted to win as badly as I did. I'd do anything I had to do to increase my advantage. Anybody who tried to block the pursuit of that advantage, I'd just push 'em o...
Ron: [Harry and Ron arrive late to Transfiguration, relieved that Professor McGonagall isn't there yet] Whew, made it. Can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late? [the cat sitting at the head of the class suddenly transforms in...
Sid: [Dragging a stick] Phew. I'm wiped out. Manfred: That's your shelter? Sid: Hey, you're a big guy, you got a lot of wood. I'm a little guy. Manfred: You got half a stick. Sid: Yes, but with this little stick and my highly-evolved brain... [accide...
Col. Hans Landa: Gentlemen, I have no intention of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and killing Göring and killing Bormann, not to mention winning the war single-handedly for the Allies, only later to find myself standing before a Jewish tribunal...
Dean McCoppin: Don't shoot! There's a kid in his hand! Kent, he only acts defensively. If you don't shoot, he's harmless. You gotta tell the general. Kent Mansley: This is your fault, beatnik. If you haven't interfered... Dean McCoppin: Will you just...
Christine Everheart: [at the Firefighter's Family Fund Benefit] Well, Tony Stark! Tony Stark: [awkwardly] Oh, hey. Christine Everheart: Fancy seeing you here. Tony Stark: [tries to remember] Carrie. Christine Everheart: Christine. Tony Stark: That's ...
Peter Warne: Excuse me, lady, but that upon which you sit, is mine. Ellie Andrews: I beg your pardon! Peter Warne: Now, listen. I put up a stiff battle for that seat. So if it's just the same to you - scram. Ellie Andrews: [ignoring him] Driver! Are ...
[Bob is explaining an insurance policy loophole to a Mrs. Hogenson] Bob: [whispering] Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third...
[Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building] Bob: Can't you put this out? Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast! Bob: What's that mean? Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob! Bob: You're...
Budd: Larry, there ain't nobody out there! Larry Gomez: [strung-out tone] "There ain't nobody out there... Larry." What's your point? That you're not needed here? Budd: My point is, I'm the bouncer... and there ain't nobody out there to bounce! Larry...
Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: What? I was getting ready for my blind date. Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Blind date? Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Oh, a date with a blind boy. Lajjo Kapur's Sister: No wonder she has blindfolded herself. Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: Blind dat...
Rohit Patel: [In front of table with lots of food] What is all this? Rohit's Mother: This Mango, That is Khus, so no fuss Rohit Patel: Not the food!... All this singing and dancing Rohit's Mother: Oh! That! That's our Silver Anniversary Wedding Rehea...
Big Joe: According to this map, we got a river to cross before we get into this town of yours. Kelly: Yeah, well there's a bridge right here, six miles out. Big Joe: There was a bridge. The Air Corps knocked every bridge out of that river months ago....
[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling] Po: What? Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu. Po: Oh, yeah, yeah. [imitating Shifu] Po: You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 50...
Po: But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles? Mr. Ping: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu. Po: So why didn't you? Mr. Ping: Oh, because...
"Hatchet" Harry: Yeah? That you, boy? Eddie: It's Ed, if that's you mean. "Hatchet" Harry: Pay day, ain't it? Eddie: Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about that. "Hatchet" Harry: I'll bet you do. I got half a million nicker sitting here, which means s...
Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies. Francis: Good...
Ben the Prisoner: Quite the jailer's pet, are we? Brian: What do you mean? Ben the Prisoner: You must have slipped him a few shekels, eh? Brian: Slipped him a few shekels-you saw him spit in my face! Ben the Prisoner: Oh, what wouldn't I give to be s...
