He held up a book then. “I'm going to read it to you for relax.” “Does it have any sports in it?” “Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest Ladies. Snakes. Spiders... Pai...
Now, I have always wanted to agree with Lady Bracknell that there is no earthly use for the upper and lower classes unless they set each other a good example. But I shouldn't pretend that the consensus itself was any of my concern. It was absurd and ...
But you must be awash in a sea of compliments, my lady. Every gentleman you meet must voice his admiration, his wish to make love to you. And those are only the ones who may voice such thoughts. All about you are men who cannot speak their admiration...
This is where the pivotal events of my childhood unfolded, while I ate banana and root beer Popsicles, two by two, tucking the sticks neatly under the skirt of the chair. It's where Sunnybank Lad met Lady, Ken met his friend Flicka, Atlanta burned, M...
A library cannot be made all at once, any more than a house or a nation or a tree; they must all take time to grow, and so must a library. I wouldn't even know what books to go and ask for. I dare say, if I were to try, I couldn't at a moment's notic...
Hold up. How do you have sex with somebody?" Adina scoffed. "Is she all, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't s ee your penis there'?" Tiara squealed and waved her hands. "Don't say that word!" "What? Sorry? "Gah!" Tiara put her fingers in her ears. "What abo...
Why there isn't any drama in my life So I'll crawl on the cottonfield with a fife Why to have a dream in vain my life begs Am a house gecko, I eat flies and lay eggs My death surely doesn't yield a headline and all I'll break law by pissing on a cast...
I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and th...
The doctrine of vocation deals with how God works through human beings to bestow His gifts. God gives us this day our daily bread by means of the farmer the banker, the cooks, And the lady at the check-out counter. He creates new life – the most am...
Time collapsed into a delicate dark pencil brushed against our eyebrows, the emergent rumble of crowds gathering above our heads. We slid into our costumes. Pirate, outlaw, futuristic rebels. Red, purple, gold. Chains hanging from our belts, tight bl...
The Joker: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent? [nobody responds; The Joker walks around the room pointing with his shotgun at everyone] The Joker: You know where Harvey i...
Indiana Jones: [trapped on a rope bridge] Shorty! [Indy shouts to Shorty in Chinese. Short Round, wide-eyed, nods and wraps a rope around his arm] Short Round: Hang on lady, we going for a ride! [Indy raises his sword, and Willie realizes] Willie: Oh...
Tony Stark: They say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far. I present...
Duncan: You there, Scout! We must rest soon, the women are tired. Magua: No, two leagues, better water. We stop there. Duncan: No, we'll stop in the glade just ahead. When the ladies are rested, we will proceed. Do you understand? Magua: [speaking Hu...
Mr. Goodkat: [his first lines] There was a time. Nick: [groggily looks at his watch] 4:35. Mr. Goodkat: You misunderstood. I wasn't asking for the time, I was just saying... there was a time. Nick: There was a time? Mr. Goodkat: Mmm-hmm. Take Brown S...
[from extended version] [looking at the elvish rope] Frodo: We can't leave this here for someone to follow us down. Sam: Who's going to follow us down here, Mr. Frodo? Sam: It's a shame, really. Lady Galadriel gave me that. Real elvish rope. Sam: Wel...
Colonel Hugh Pickering: I'll have you know, Doolittle, that Mr. Higgins' intentions are entirely honorable! Alfred P. Doolittle: Oh, 'course they are, guv'nor. If I thought they wasn't, I'd ask fifty. Professor Henry Higgins: [shocked] You mean to sa...
Professor Henry Higgins: I know your head aches; I know you're tired; I know your nerves are as raw as meat in a butcher's window. But think what you're trying to accomplish. Think what you're dealing with. The majesty and grandeur of the English lan...
Professor Henry Higgins: You might marry, you know. You see, Eliza, all men are not confirmed old bachelors like myself and the Colonel. Most men are the marrying sort, poor devils. And you're not bad-looking; you're really quite a pleasure to look a...
Max Jerry Horovitz: I was born Jewish and used to believe in God but I've since read many books that have proven God is just a figment of my imagination. People like to believe in God 'cause it answers difficult questions, like where did the universe...
Homer Stokes: [as Grand Kleagle at a KKK rally] Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered here, to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage! We aim to pull evil up by the root, before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage! And our...
