Young Simba: Hey, look, Banana Beak is scared. Zazu: That's *Mr.* Banana Beak to you, Fuzzy! And right now, we are all in very real danger. Young Simba: Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!
Thick Kevin: My theory is that you're here because it's exactly the right time for a young man like you to get to know his dad. 'Young' Carl: And? Thick Kevin: I therefore think that your dad is on this boat. And since he's definitely not me, I think...
[On Katrina's apparent guilt] Young Masbath: A strange sort of witch, with a kind and loving heart. How can you think so? Ichabod Crane: I have good reason. Young Masbath: Then you are bewitched by reason. Ichabod Crane: I am beaten down by it!
Young Stud: [sobbing] This is TWICE in two days that a chick has OD'd on me! Colonel James: [rapidly] Well, do you think this means that maybe ya, oughta think about getting some new shit? Whaddya ya think? Young Stud: [contritely] Yes, sir. Colonel ...
I only went along to youth theatre with a friend when I was young to try to make myself a bit more sociable. But the whole thing was quite sore; it really hurt me trying to get into drama school. It was a world I knew nothing about - it was very midd...
The two most challenging tasks a man can face in life is education of the heart and education of the child-every other task he contemplates in life before him pales in comparison to those two. On this path of absolute uncertainty, the descending hear...
No one wants to die or even plans to die, at least not when you are young and living life on top of everything, stepping on gold, running the miles with hot chicks on tow, but even if I wasn’t a rock star, and just a normal civilian, I still wouldn...
I enjoyed my upbringing, my siblings did, we're polite, we're respectful, but at the end of the day we're young, we like to have fun. But now, more so than ever, the youth has been vilified to the point where it feels like you can't enjoy being young...
I was a stage-struck kid.
I was a cocky kid.
When you're young, you're stupid.
I've got no mother, no wife, no kids. I had, but my mother's dead, and I lost my wife and my kids when I had my trouble. Women are bitches. It's hard for a chap to live without any affection in his life.
Little kids I don't mind. Every kid wants a pony. It's grown-ups that get my robe in a knot. Stop with the begging, okay? Adore me for a change. Or give thanks. I like gratitude. Or ask for guidance. But oh, no. It's always the pony.
If all we ever offer is blanket praise without any meaning behind it, kids will always seek approval because they'll never feel satisfied. If we offer genuine encouragement for their accomplishments, they won't need our approval; they'll approve of t...
Having kids and making kids are two different hobbies. I don’t have any children, but I do have lots of sex. It is an expensive hobby, but well worth the money I spend on it.
Sometimes, mothers say and do things that seem like they don't want their kids... but when you look more closely, you realize that they're doing those kids a favor. They're just trying to give them a better life.
Will I be some kid’s dad one day? Are any future people lurking deep inside mine?...Which girl’s carrying the other half of my kid, deep in those intricate loops? What’s she doing right now? What’s her name?
Want to get your kids to read more? Try making books easily accessible. Put them where kids can easily reach and don't make them off limits. (within reason)
One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline.... But also every single day a kid needs a break.
There was some violence a year ago. An important kid got shot during an attempted kidnapping while on spring break in Mexico. The Fortune 500 went security crazy. Now rich kids like Jack need a commando team to take a dump.
For a long time I felt like I was fighting my age, like I was constantly trying to prove to people that I was a savvy peer, and I felt them viewing me as a kid. I was a cocky kid, and I felt like I was an adult at, like, 9, you know? I think that's b...
