[Dwight has been pulled over by a policeman on a motorcycle, with Jackie-Boy slumped over dead in the passenger seat] Motorcycle Cop: Your buddy there... Partied a little too hard tonight? Dwight: [staring coldly at the cop] I'm the designated driver...
Ann Newton: [Answering the phone] Newton's residence, Ann Newton speaking. Oh, hello, Mrs Henderson, this is Ann. No, Mother isn't here. A telegram? Well... [looks right, then left] Ann Newton: I don't see a pencil so I'll have to have her call you b...
[looking through Shaun's LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies] Ed: 'Purple Rain'? Shaun: No. Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'? Shaun: Definitely not. Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack? Shaun: Throw it. Ed: 'Dire Straits'? Shaun: Throw it. Ed...
Sneezy: [raising his hand and pointing to the sink] Hey, someone stole our dishes! Happy: They ain't stole. They're hid in the cupboard. Bashful: My cup's been washed. Sugar's gone. Happy: Something's cooking. Smells good. Grumpy: [shoving Happy and ...
Mike Erganian: What is the subject of your book? Non fiction? Miles Raymond: Uh, no. It's... it's a novel. Fiction. Yes. Although there is quite a bit from my own life... so I suppose that, technically some of it is nonfiction. Mike Erganian: Good I ...
[a chambermaid enters Irene Adler's room and screams when she sees Holmes, handcuffed naked to the bed with a pillow covering his groin] Sherlock Holmes: Madam, I need you to remain calm. And trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow, lies th...
[Mrs. Hudson starts to clear space for the tea tray] Sherlock Holmes: Don't touch. Everything is in its proper place... as per usual, Nanny. [on her way out, Mrs. Hudson notices the dog laying on the floor] Mrs. Hudson: Oh, he's killed the dog. Again...
Sherlock Holmes: There's only one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying here comings and goings and they appear most... sinister. Mrs. Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes? Sherlock Holmes: I...
Darth Vader: A small rebel force has penetrated the shield and landed on Endor. The Emperor: Yes, I know. Darth Vader: My son is with them. The Emperor: Are you sure? Darth Vader: I have *felt* him, my master. The Emperor: Strange that I have not. I ...
Turkish: I don't want to go in there. He's a dangerous bastard. Taken too many disco biscuits in the heat of Russian disputations. He's got as many of these nuts as he has those nuts. Tommy: I don't care if he's got fucking hazelnuts. I want a gun th...
Divya Narendra: You invented something in high school too, right? Mark Zuckerberg: An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music. Divya Narendra: Anybody try to buy it? Mark Zuckerberg: Microsoft. Divya Narendra: Wow. How much? Mark Zu...
Cameron Winklevoss: [Arrogantly as they lead the other boats by a wide margin] Is there any way to make this a fair fight? Tyler Winklevoss: We could jump out and swim. Cameron Winklevoss: We'd have to jump out and drown. Tyler Winklevoss: Well, you ...
Red: [narrating] Tommy Williams came to Shawshank in 1965 on a two-year stretch for B&E. That's breaking & entering to you. Cops caught him sneaking TV sets out the back door of a JC Penney. Young punk. Mr. Rock and Roll. Cocky as hell. Tommy William...
Andy Dufresne: I want to know, how the score comes out. Tommy Williams: I'll show you, how the score comes out [crumbles test paper] Tommy Williams: . TWO POINTS! THERE'S YOUR GODDAMN SCORE! Cats crawling on trees, five time five is twenty-five. [sho...
Heywood: It's a fine morning, ain't it? You know why it's a fine morning, don't ya? Come on, set 'em down. I want 'em all lined up, just like a pretty little chorus line. [the cons pull out cigarettes and hand them over to Heywood, who lines them up ...
Captain Miller: [after Reiben courageously saves Ryan from being hit by a tank shell] . RYAN! [run to the building Reiben pulled Ryan behind] Captain Miller: Ryan. Private Ryan: [to Reiben, who is sitting on Ryan] Get off of me! Captain Miller: Are y...
Lt. Col. Anderson: What about *our* casualties? Captain Miller: Well, the figures were, 35 dead, times two wounded. They just didn't wanna give up those 88s. Lt. Col. Anderson: It was a tough assignment, that's why you got it. Captain Miller: Yes, it...
The Operative: [Speaking on the bridge of his ship] You should have let me see her, Captain. We should have done this as men - not with fire. [Serenity emerges from the clouds... ] The Operative: Vessel in range, lock on. [... and heads straight for ...
Dr. Mathias: [referring to Dr. Simon Tam who has just helped his sister, River Tam, escape] Gave up a brilliant future in medicine as well. It's madness. The Operative: Madness? [Ambles over to the holographic projection of River and Simon escaping t...
The Operative: "Key members of Parliament". Key. The minds behind every military, diplomatic and covert operation in the galaxy, and you put them in a room with a psychic. Dr. Mathias: Look... even if River Tam did by any chance read the minds of any...
[Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett buy what appears to be Pirelli's Miracle Elixir] Sweeney Todd: [opens the lid] What is this? Mrs. Lovett: What is this? Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss. Mrs. Lovett: [sniffs] Smells like, eww! Sweeney Todd: Looks like pis...
