Marjane's grandmother: Listen. I don't like to preach, but here's some advice. You'll meet a lot of jerks in life. If they hurt you, remember it's because they're stupid. Don't react to their cruelty. There's nothing worse than bitterness and revenge...
Thick Kevin: My theory is that you're here because it's exactly the right time for a young man like you to get to know his dad. 'Young' Carl: And? Thick Kevin: I therefore think that your dad is on this boat. And since he's definitely not me, I think...
Macaulay Connor: [calling outside his house] C.K. Dexter Haven! Oh, C.K. Dexter Haven! C. K. Dexter Haven: [coming to the door in his pajamas] What's up? Macaulay Connor: You are. C. K. Dexter Haven: I only hope it's worth it. Come in.
Ahmad: When did you meet each other? Marie Brisson: In drugstore. He came to get his wife's medicines. [Ahmad sneers ] Marie Brisson: What? Ahmad: In our culture is laughing. Marie Brisson: But in our culture is mocking! [They discuss with each other...
Col. Gen. Alfred Jodl: In 15 minutes, we meet with the Fuhrer. He will want to know how you intend to deal with Patton's forces. Field Marshal Erwin Rommel: I will attack and annihilate him...! [long pause] Field Marshal Erwin Rommel: ...before he do...
Pink: [singing] Daddy's flown across the ocean. Leaving just a memory. A snapshot in the family album. Daddy, what else did you leave for me? Daddy, what'd ya leave behind for me? All in all, it was just a brick in the wall. All in all, it was all ju...
Martin Rittenhome: Television is gonna go on. The quiz shows are gonna go on. Makes me wonder what you hope to accomplish with all this. Dick Goodwin: Don't worry, I'm just getting started. Martin Rittenhome: You're a bright young kid with a bright f...
Belloq: What a fitting end to your life's pursuits. You're about to become a permanent addition to this archaeological find. Who knows? In a thousand years, even you may be worth something. Indiana: Ha ha ha ha. [under his breath] Indiana: Son of a b...
[Upon opening the Well of the Souls and peering down] Sallah: Indy, why does the floor move? Indiana: Give me your torch. [Indy takes the torch and drops it in] Indiana: Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? Sallah: Asps... very dangerous. You go first...
[the old man reveals writing on the back of the medallion, which states that part of the staff must be removed] Indiana: Balloq's medallion only had writing on one side? You sure about that? Sallah: Positive! Indiana: Balloq's staff is too long. Indi...
Indiana: I knew the Germans had hired you, Sallah. You're the best digger in Egypt. Sallah: My services are entirely inconsequential to them. They hired or shanghaied every digger in Cairo. The excavation is enormous. They hire only strong backs and ...
H.I.: Wake up, Son. [aims gun at the clerk] H.I.: I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got. Ed McDonnough: [sees H.I. from the car] That son' bitch. That son of a bitch! You son of a bitch! H.I.: Better hurry it up, I'm in dutch with the...
Colonel Julyan: Well, let me tell you something, Favell: blackmail isn't so pure nor so simple, and it brings a great deal of trouble to a great many people before it's through, and we know how to deal with it in our part of the world. And, sometimes...
[ED-209 has malfunctioned and killed Mr. Kinney in a demonstration] Bob Morton: Somebody wanna call a *goddamn* paramedic? Let's go, Johnson! Johnson: [frantic] You pull the plug on this thing! [picks up phone and yells back to others] Johnson: All r...
[the General mentions Princess Ann's duty] Princess Ann: Your Excellency, I trust you will not find it necessary to use that word again. Were I not completely aware of my duty to my family and to my country, I would not have come back tonight... or i...
Sheriff of Nottingham: [to Otto as he's sitting down] Let me give you a hand with that leg. [lifts up Otto's leg] Sheriff of Nottingham: Upsie-daisy. [farthings fall out of Otto's cast into the Sheriff's hand] Sheriff of Nottingham: Bingo! Oh, what t...
Colette: [Linguini is making a mess at the kitchen] What is this? Keep - your station - clear! When the meal rush comes, what will happen? Messy stations slow things down. Food doesn't go, orders pile up, disaster! I'll make this easier to remember: ...
[Ray is recording "Georgia on my Mind"] Margie Hendricks: Listen to that crap. I thought you said ABC wasn't gonna force nothing on him. Jeff Brown: They didn't. It was Ray's idea. Something new. Margie Hendricks: What are we then, Jeff? Something ol...
Mark Swarr: My client says there are two more bodies... two more victims, hidden away. He will take Detectives Mills and Somerset to these bodies, but only Detectives Mills and Somerset, and only at six o'clock today. David Mills: Why us? Mark Swarr:...
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, no, I can't say I have.
Walt Disney: "No whimsy or sentiment!" says the woman who sends a flying nanny with a talking umbrella to save the children. P.L. Travers: You think Mary Poppins is saving the children, Mr. Disney? [Walt and the other filmmakers are stunned silent] P...
