We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
I don't need someone with a hot body. He can be fat or overweight and have a belly. It's very much about style and substance and humor, interest, curiosity and really being smart.
A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.
I think humor is a very serious thing. I use it as a way of weakening the reader's defenses so that I can more easily take him to something more.
I firmly believe that there is a God. I firmly believe that there is a Heaven. And I firmly believe that if you go there, it's gonna be great.
I went out as a free agent in Boston and had a great year and I priced myself out of there market, at the time.
You can't get real happy or real depressed when you play baseball. Baseball is a great sport in that it offers a player a lot of opportunities for atonement.
You can't put a price on what Mark McGwire brings to the Cardinals organization. The responsibility he accepts is as great as any number of home runs.
The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
You got the ball in your hands and you're in command, and if you get your good pitch where you want it, nobody's gonna hit you.
When you put a lot of hard work into one goal and you achieve it, that's a really good feeling.
I'm a winner, I play to win, I want to make good things go on around me.
You can't win if nobody catches the ball in the outfield. You're only as good as the team you have behind you.
I don't have a great deal of stress job-wise in my life, and that feels good.
There's nothing I miss about anything in the whole wide world. The idea of missing something means you're not living in the moment. Every moment is good for something.
With my Roman Catholic upbringing, I have a set of principles that serve me well in good times and bad.
I'm a huge advocate of pitching. You have to have good pitching as the solid core, the foundation. It keeps you in every game.
The tradition you have at the University of Texas is like no other. It helped me in the future where I got to play in 2 cities that were rich in tradition.
People who live in the past generally are afraid to compete in the present. I've got my faults, but living in the past is not one of them. There's no future in it.
The first principle of contract negotiations is don't remind them of what you did in the past - tell them what you're going to do in the future.
I've always had a penchant for dialects. I remember getting detention and being told, 'Have a think about where doing these funny voices might get you someday.'
