When I hit a home run I usually didn't care where it went. So long as it was a home run was all that mattered.
Going home and just seeing what a mess youth baseball was was an eye-opener. I just want to make it a better game.
When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
Having a sense of humor has served me more than it has hurt me - just in the sense that it has allowed me to keep my sanity.
I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You never saw me stuck in a door-way or stuck in a chair.
People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse.
With actors like Steve McQueen, Paul Newman and Harrison Ford, what made them such icons is that even in dramatic movies, their characters had a sense of humor.
In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.
I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.
I think the Canadian sense of humor is dryer than America's and juicier than Britain's. I think it's a cross between the two of them, really.
Major league baseball is about the history of the game. Baseball history is so important. It's so much more than money.
I'm a Larry David fan, right? And it seems to me that Jewish history from the Talmud on has been a self-deprecating, self-critical kind of humor.
I loved my parents... but that can never change the fact that my father's violence ruined my childhood.
I started playing ball when I was a kid. My dad was a pro ball player and he passed on his knowledge to me.
I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.
There's nothing greater in the world than when somebody on the team does something good, and everybody gathers around to pat him on the back.
The good Lord was good to me. He gave me a strong body, a good right arm, and a weak mind.
Some batters, and good ones too, scoff at the whole theory of place hitting, calling it a myth. They are wrong, however.
I look forward to another good year next year. It would be nice to win, too.
Hideki Irabu had a very good curveball. Just a straight up and down, swing-and-miss curveball.
