Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I died yesterday!" and the...
Mitchell Stephens: Tell me your news, Zoe. Zoe: Okay. Yesterday I went to sell my blood. I'm in this fucking city, and I'm selling my blood. Mitchell Stephens: That's not news, Zoe. Zoe: No, but this is. They wouldn't take my blood. Do you know what ...
Jean Claude: Just like the old days. Bryan: Would you have it any other way? Jean Claude: Between you and me, no. But now that I sit behind a desk, the world looks different. Bryan: You mean it looks boring. Jean Claude: I mean different. Okay, a lit...
A-Rab: Baby John, what are you doin' here? Baby John: Nothin'. A-Rab: What are you doin' nothin' here for? Come on. Baby John: I don't want the guys to see me A-Rab. A-Rab: Why not? Baby John: I'm cryin'. A-Rab: You are? What for? Baby John: I don't ...
We're in Des Moines, Iowa today, were in Omaha, Nebraska yesterday and Boise, Idaho the day before. When we landed at the airport in Boise, from Portland, Oregon this lady from our plane came up from behind as we walked down the terminal. She approac...
Pimp Lester: [pointing gun at Oleg] Say hello to my little friend! Joey Gazelle: That's real fuckin' original. What are you, a fuckin' cartoon? Pimp Lester: I'm a Mack Daddy pimp! You know that. And now I'm gonna cap your ass, and when I'm finished w...
