Rock Biter: A delicious-looking limestone rock. Mmm! Mmm! Nice bouquet. Must be a real vintage year. Night Hob: [laughs nervously] Yes, you're right. Those delicious rocks are the reason we camped here, all right. Night Hob: [to Teeny Weeny] Is he a ...
Young Allie: Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me, I waited for you for seven years. But now it's too late. Young Noah: I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year. Young Allie: You wrote me? Young Noah: Yes... it wasn't o...
Clark Griswald: [talking about Aunt Edna] She can't weigh more than 100 pounds. Ellen Griswald: Oh, no. You can't just put her on the roof. Audrey Griswald: Yes, he can! Clark Griswald: You want me to strap her to the hood? She'll be fine. It's not a...
Jason: What are you people doing here? We can't continue the story 'til Tom gets back. Harold: Oh, we don't mind observing you all. Harold's Wife: Yes. My husband is a student of the human personality. Rita: Oh yeah, well we're not human. Harold's Wi...
Sgt. O'Neill: Guy's in three years, he thinks he's Jesus fucking Christ or something. Sgt. Barnes: Red, your guys stay in, but you go! I need veterans out there. Sgt. O'Neill: Damn it! [leaves] Lt. Wolf: Excuse me, Seargeant. But in front of the men,...
Geppetto: Now, I've got just the name for you: Pinocchio! Do you like it, Figaro? [Figaro shakes his head] Geppetto: No? You do, don't you, Cleo? [Cleo shakes her head] Geppetto: Well, we'll leave it to little wooden head. You like it? [pulls on stri...
Olivia Wenscombe: You married her. You had a child with her. Alfred Borden: Yes. Part of me did. But the other part... the other part didn't. The part that found you, the part that's sitting here right now. Olivia Wenscombe: You could be in some othe...
Tracy Lord: [Tracy and Mike have almost kissed. Both are very drunk] Has your mind taken hold again, dear professor? Macaulay Connor: Good thing, don't you agree? Tracy Lord: No, professor. Macaulay Connor: [angrily] Alright, lay off that "professor"...
Walter Fane: Do you like flowers? Kitty Fane: Not particularly, no. Well, I mean yes, but we don't really have them around the house. Mother says, "Why purchase something you can grow for free?" Then, we don't really grow them either. It does silly r...
Patrick: Hey, Sam. Sam: Question. Could the bathrooms here be anymore disgusting? Patrick: Yes, they call it the men's room. Sam: So, I finally got a hold of Bob. Patrick: Party tonight? Sam: He's still trying to shag that waitress from the Olive Gar...
Charlie: Now casinos have house rules: they don't like to lose. So you never show that you're counting cards. That is *the* cardinal sin, Ray. Raymond: Counting cards is bad. Charlie: Yes. Raymond: I like to drive slow on the driveway. Charlie: If yo...
[Raymond blows their ruse to get into a farmhouse to watch The People's Court] Charlie: That's it. You blew it. You don't get to see your program. Finished. Raymond: One minute to Wapner. Charlie: Yes, one minute to Wapner. I had you in there, Ray! Y...
Chas: Please don't get in the middle of this, Mr. Sherman. This is a family matter. Margot: Don't talk to him like that. Henry Sherman: Call me Henry. Chas: I prefer Mr. Sherman. Ethel: Call him Henry. Chas: Why? I don't know him that well. Ethel: Yo...
C-3PO: Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is. Darth Vader: Well, Calrissian, did he survive? Lando: Yes, he's alive, and in perfect hibernation. Darth Vader: He's all you...
P.L. Travers: [reading the script] 'Scene one, exterior, Seventeen Cherry Tree Lane, Day.' Yes, that's good. That can stay. Richard Sherman: That's just a scene heading. P.L. Travers: Though I do think we should say 'Number Seventeen,' instead of jus...
Frank Lopez: Hey, Tony. Remember when I told you when you first started working for me, the guys that last in this business, are the guys who fly straight. Low-key, quiet. But the guys who want it all, chicas, champagne, flash... they don't last. Ton...
Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink? Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer. Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax? Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes. Jack: Well...
Osgood: You know, I've always been *fascinated* by show business. Daphne: Is that so? Osgood: Yes. As a matter of fact it's cost my family quite a bit of money. Daphne: Oh, you invest in shows? Osgood: Showgirls. I've been married seven or eight time...
Shrek: Um... Fiona? Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek? Shrek: I... I love you. Princess Fiona: Really? Shrek: Really, really! Princess Fiona: Mmmm... I love you too. [they kiss. Thalonius writes "Awwww" on a cue card for the audience. Fiona floats up in the...
Sherlock Holmes: And chambermaids were once such a liberal breed. Constable Clark: My wife's a chambermaid, sir. [uncomfortable silence] Constable Clark: Anyhow, it's a good thing she was offended, sir. Otherwise we'd never have found you. Sherlock H...
Yoda: That face you make... look I so old to young eyes? Luke: No. Of course not. Yoda: I do. Yes, I do. Sick have I become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old *you* reach, look as good *you* will not, hmm?
