Clifford Stern: [to his wife] Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, ok. It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday.
Theodore Faron: A hundred years from now there won't be one sad fuck to look at any of this. What keeps you going? Nigel: You know what it is, Theo? I just don't think about it.
TV Reporter: The world was stunned today by the death of Diego Ricardo, the youngest person on the planet, the youngest person on earth was 18 years, 4 months, 20 days, 16 hours, and 8 minutes old.
Albrecht: You're the guy that murdered Tin-Tin. Eric Draven: He was already dead. He died a year ago the moment he touched her. They're all dead. They just don't know it yet.
Nicky Santoro: [voice-over] When it looked like they could get twenty-five years to life in prison just for skimming a casino, sick or no fuckin' sick you knew people were going to get clipped.
Clark: [Finally revealing his Christmas Bonus] It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. Eddie: [Overwhelmed, almost choking on his eggnog] Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year.
Wikus Van De Merwe: [in Christopher's ship] This whole's thing's under your shack? For 20 years, you've had this fookin' thing hidden out here? This is, this is very illegal, I mean, this is... this is a fine.
Cookie: How come you got all this money? Harry Block: I always keep hooker money around, you know, 'cause I once paid by check years ago and the I.R.S. killed me.
Gabby: I like her, Brian. Mike Zavala: Buddy! Janet: How long have you known Brian? Gabby: Three years. He and Mike went to the Academy together Janet: Right.
Captain Yardley: I never liked you. You know why? You don't curse. I don't trust a man who doesn't curse. Not a "fuck" or a "shit" in all these years. Real men curse.
Billy: When is this "Snake" act supposed to occur? Professor Pacoli: Well, if this is the five and this is the one... [counting under his breath] Professor Pacoli: Every 5,000 years. Billy: So I've got some time then.
Groggy: Indio calls and Groggy comes running. El Indio: And Sancho? Groggy: If you're waiting for Sancho I'll come back in another four years. He's in prison. No amore, no dinero, no sun.
Phil: [Does a double take at Larry] Wow! Looking *foxy* tonight man! Hey, is your troop gonna be selling cookies again this year? Larry: [Sarcastically] Oh that's so funny Phil!
Daniel Schorr: [on TV] A staggering 57% of American workers believe there is a very real chance they will be unemployed in the next 5 to 7 years. But what does that matter to a bloated millionaire fat-cat like you?
Walt Kowalski: [to Father Janovich] I think you're an overeducated 27-year-old virgin who likes to hold the hands of superstitious old ladies and promise them everlasting life.
Dumbledore: Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs.
Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself? Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here *alone*? I don't think so.
Tequila: Which year did you graduate? Who was your teacher? Alan: Are you testing me? Tequila: I'd just like to ask your teach how he managed to produce such a stubborn cop.
Kathy: I miss my dad. He worked really hard for that house... It took him... thirty years to pay it off. And it took me eight months to fuck it up!
Albus Dumbledore: You must be wondering why I brought you here. Harry Potter: Actually sir, after all these years I just sort of go with it.
Terry Swinton: We all believe in your innocence. Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter: I've been innocence for 16 years. That's how long I've been in here. Innocence is a highly over-rated commodity.