Joey Naylor: Do I have flexible morals? Nick Naylor: Let's say you became a lawyer and you were asked to defend a murderer worse than that, a child murderer now, the law states that every person deserves a fair trial, would you defend him? Joey Naylo...
[after they both have sex in Ryan's room; Ryan lays on the floor whilst Alex, naked, lies on the bed] Ryan Bingham: Good call on that towel rack. Alex Goran: I like how you burritoed me in the sofa cushions. Ryan Bingham: I was improvising. Alex Gora...
The Schofield Kid: [after killing a man for the first time] It don't seem real... how he ain't gonna never breathe again, ever... how he's dead. And the other one too. All on account of pulling a trigger. Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a...
The Schofield Kid: That was the first one. Will Munny: First one what? The Schofield Kid: First one I ever killed. Will Munny: Yeah? The Schofield Kid: You know how I said I shot five men? It weren't true. That Mexican that come at me with a knife, I...
Bowtie Driver: Me and the bookkeeper are walking out of here, getting into a car, and driving away. Or else he dies! He dies! And you ain't got nothing! You got five seconds to make up your minds! Ness: You got him? George Stone: Yeah, I got him. Bow...
Owen: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave! Duncan: What? Owen: Yeah. You're going to have to take off. We're getting complaints. You're having way too much fun. It's making everyone uncomfortable. Duncan: Okay. [he gets up to leave] Owen: H...
Johnny Cash: It's all right, it just happened. June Carter: Just happened? Johnny Cash: Yeah. June Carter: You wear black 'cause you can't find anything else to wear? You found your sound 'cause you can't play no better? You just tried to kiss me bec...
Brendan Conlon: C'mon, it's not as bad as it looks. Principal Zito: Are you being literal or figurative? Because literally it looks bad. And figuratively it looks even worse. The superintendent's coming by in a few minutes. So gimme a little help her...
[as they all observe the subway station] Ajax: Come on, what kind of chickenshit crap is this. Cochise: Yeah, come on? We're here, what are we waiting for? Fox: The train would help! Unless you wanna go up there and get jacked on an open platform. Co...
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?... Eddie Valiant! Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty! Betty Boop: Long time, no see! Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here? Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! ...
Mark Hanna: You gotta stay relaxed. Do you jerk off? Jordan Belfort: Do I jerk off? Yeah. Mark Hanna: How many times a week? Jordan Belfort: Like um... three, three or four times maybe. Mark Hanna: All right, pump those numbers up, those are rookie n...
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn'...
Robert Graysmith: This is a case that's covered both northern and southern California with victims and suspects spread over hundreds of miles, would you agree? Dave Toschi: Yeah. Robert Graysmith: Darlene Ferrin worked at the Vallejo House of Pancake...
Bill Murray: You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece! It's a piece. Wichita: It's - I'm sorry. No, it's just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen. Bill Murray: I just saw Eddie Van Halen. Wichita: Nuh-uh. Tallahassee: Really? Bill Murray: Ye...
Kostya Novotny: Monty, I have beautiful woman, very nice! Monty Brogan: Yeah, well, I'm not really in the mood for that. I've got a nice girl. Kostya Novotny: I know, I know. Tonight is a special night. Last night as free man. I pick her out special,...
[first lines] Jane Burnham: I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school. What a lame-o. Someone really should just put him out of his misery. Ricky Fitts: Wan...
John Laroche: You know why I like plants? Susan Orlean: Nuh uh. John Laroche: Because they're so mutable. Adaptation is a profound process. Means you figure out how to thrive in the world. Susan Orlean: [pause] Yeah but it's easier for plants. I mean...
Carol: [John turns off the radio] Why did you do that? John Milner: I don't like that surfin' shit. Rock and roll's been going down hill ever since Buddy Holly died. Carol: Don't you think the Beach Boys are boss? John Milner: You would, you grungy l...
Alvy Singer: Hey listen, gimme a kiss. Annie Hall: Really? Alvy Singer: Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right mov...
Ripley: Come on, Ash, I mean, the Science Department should be able to help us. What can we do to drive it? Ash: Yes, well, it's adapted remarkably well to our atmosphere considering its nutritional requirements. The only thing we don't know about is...
Tony Mendez: You got any kids, Lester? Lester Siegel: Yeah, I have two daughters. Tony Mendez: You see them much? Lester Siegel: I talk to them once a year, maybe. Tony Mendez: Why's that? Lester Siegel: [shrugs] I was a terrible father. [pause] Lest...
