Quotes of: Written Keyword

They have this big book called the 'DSM-IV,' you know, that is supposedly written about crazy people, but I think it is a book that is written by crazy people!

William Glasser

When history is written as it ought to be written, it is the moderation and long patience of the masses at which men will wonder, not their ferocity.

The Black Jacobins: Toussaint L'Ouverture and the San Domingo Revolution

History isn't written by the winners - it's written by everyone - it's a jigsaw of facts from contradictory sources. But every once in a while, you unearth that one original document that no one can argue with...

The Inner Circle

Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called.  

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I keep a fish in each pocket, and one in my left shoe, so I don’t drown in your love.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I’d rate myself five stars, and those stars would all be fish. My review was of how well I walked on the beach.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I water my driveway, and I drive a hard bargain to work (it gets great gas mileage).

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first?

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

My love may be invisible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t taste it. (It tastes like a sonic boom, only not as bitter).

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

If I can delay your action with my inaction, then I’ll gladly do nothing for the good of the no good.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I’ll never be as old as someone older than me, but I can be older than them if I outlive their lifespan.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Am I the only guy that holds a flute of champagne like it’s a musical instrument?

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the performance (the last day of fall).

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

My sheets are so white they look like Google’s homepage. They even have a touch of red on them, from that double homicide back in December.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

He was thoughtless, not because he was insensitive, but because I had just eaten his brain and his skull was empty.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with my rifle.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

To make my meal in a box taste better, I decided to tweak the logo, rather than the ingredients.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

A sister should set her brother up with one of her friends, unless her only friend is her sister.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

If politicians lived to be only 30-years-old before dying, that’d still be 30 years too long.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

It’s just a dream, I told myself. I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Throw a pair of Band-Aids over your eyelids, and open your eyes to your wounds.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks