Noodles: Let's go for a swim... [accelerates the car down the pier] Max: All right, what are you doing? Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Hey, Noodles... Don't fuck around, Noodles! Max: Noodles, what are you doing? Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: HEY! You crazy? [N...
Basher: See, when a nuclear weapon detonates it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases because a nuclear weapon usually destroys everything you might ne...
Bill Lumbergh: Milt, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would...
Milton Waddams: I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collatin...
Delmar O'Donnell: Care for some gopher? Ulysses Everett McGill: No thank you, Delmar. A third of a gopher would only arouse my appetite without beddin' 'er back down. Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, you can have the whole thing. Me and Pete already had one api...
[last lines] [Fletcher knows he's talking to Josey Wales] Fletcher: I think I'll go down to Mexico to try to find him. Josey Wales: And then? Fletcher: He's got the first move. I owe him that. I think I'll try to tell him the war is over. What do you...
[David looks up from his job at the soda counter to see Jennifer determinedly leading Skip out of the place and down the sidewalk] David: Oh, shit! [He takes a flying jump-leap over the counter] David: *Jennifer*! David: Jennifer, stop! [He chases Je...
Dillon: Dutch, the General's sayin' that a couple of our friends are about to get squeezed, and we can't let that happen. We need the best. That's why you're here. Dutch: Go on. Dillon: Simple setup. One-day operation. We pick up their trail at the c...
Lorenzo St. DuBois: [singing] And I give a flower to the big fat cop / He takes his club and he beats me up / I give a flower to the garbage man / He stuffs my girl in the garbage can / And I give it to the landlord when the rent comes 'round / He th...
Indiana: The Ark of the Covenant, the chest that the Hebrews used to carry around the Ten Commandments. Major Eaton: What, you mean THE Ten Commandments? Indiana: Yes, the actual Ten Commandments, the original stone tablets that Moses brought down fr...
[a knock at the door] Alexander Rance: It's open. Top marks for speed, no marks for cookery. [holding plate with egg] Alexander Rance: What, may I ask, do you call this? Michael Sullivan: Put it down. Alexander Rance: Mr. Sullivan! Michael Sullivan: ...
Remy: Hey, I brought you something to... [sees Emile eating garbage] Remy: AH! NO, NO, NO, NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW! [Emile obeys] Remy: [sighs] I have *got* to teach you about food. Close your eyes. [Emile obeys; Remy holds out piece of cheese] R...
Lisa: What's he doing? Cleaning house? Jeff: He's washing and scrubbing down the bathroom walls. Stella: Must've splattered a lot. [both Jeff and Lisa look at Stella with disgust] Stella: Come on, that's what were all thinkin'. He killed her in there...
IRS Agent Stewart: Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years. Jim Court: That's right. IRS Agent Stewart: Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise? Jim Court: Taking care of ...
Donkey: Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her THAT quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you...
Dr. John Watson: [Holmes is firing a gun in the house] Mrs Hudson. Mrs. Hudson: I won't go in there by myself, not while he's got a gun in his hand! Dr. John Watson: You don't have to go in there at all. Mrs. Hudson: What will I do when you leave, do...
Cyrus Cole: [telling about his hook hand] Twelve years ago God looked down on me, and He said Cyrus, you're a bad, stupid, selfish man. First I'm gonna fill your body with spirits. Then I'm gonna put you behind the wheel of a car. Then I'm gonna have...
Heywood: It's a fine morning, ain't it? You know why it's a fine morning, don't ya? Come on, set 'em down. I want 'em all lined up, just like a pretty little chorus line. [the cons pull out cigarettes and hand them over to Heywood, who lines them up ...
Rosco: [after a take] We're really rolling, Mr. Simpson. R.F. Simpson: Well, you can stop rolling at once. Rosco: What? R.F. Simpson: Don, Lina. Rosco: Ok, everybody save it! R.F. Simpson: Save it? Tell them to go home. We're shutting down for a few ...
[Jonas Skat is in a tree which Death is cutting down] Jonas Skat: Hey, you scurvy knave, what are you doing with my tree? You might at least answer. Who are you? Death: I'm felling your tree. Your time is up. Jonas Skat: You can't. I haven't time. De...
Professor Moriaty: Rest assured, if you attempt to bring destruction down upon me, I shall do the same to you. My respect for you, Mr. Holmes, is the only reason you are still alive. Sherlock Holmes: You've paid me several compliments. Let me pay you...
