Jordan Belfort: Oh my God! You had to deal with the Golf Course people too! What a greek tragedy! Honey oh my God!, you probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! What a fucking burden, and actually had to do some work besides swiping my fucki...
Jordan Belfort: [on getting arrested] I'm sober for two years, stopped my drugs, settled down with my wife and kids, and then this happens! Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? Saurel! That's right, out of all the S...
Sally Albright: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side. Harry Burns: That's what drew her to me. Sally Albright: Your dark side? Harry Burns: Sure. Why? Don't you have a dark side? I know, you're probably one of those cheerful people who dot their "i's...
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. Sally Albright: Which one am I? Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance. Sally Albright: I don't see that. Harry...
Sally Albright: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants. Harry Burns: Ehhhh. I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. "Days of the weeks underpants"? Sally Albright: Yes. They had th...
Tony: You're not thinking I'm someone else? Maria: I know you are not. Tony: Or that we've met before? Maria: I know we have not. Tony: I felt, I knew something never before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is so much more. Maria: My hand...
Carl Fox: He's using you, kid. He's got your prick in his back pocket, but you're too blind to see it. Bud Fox: No. What I see is a jealous old machinist who can't stand the fact that his son has become more successful than he has! Carl Fox: What you...
Jon Osterman: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong? Laurie Juspeczyk: About what? Jon Osterman: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in hum...
Laurie Juspeczyk: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time? Dan Dreiberg: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked ...
Rorschach: We need to squeeze people. Dan Dreiberg: [sarcastic] Sure. We'll pick them out of a phone book. Rorschach: You forgot how we do things, Daniel. You've gotten too soft. Too trusting. Especially with women. Dan Dreiberg: No, listen, I am thr...
Martha: I disgust me. You know, there's only been one man in my whole life who's ever made me happy. Do you know that? [pause] Martha: George, my husband... George, who is out somewhere there in the dark, who is good to me - whom I revile, who can ke...
Martha: [derogatorily, to George] Hey, swamp! Hey swampy! George: Yes, Martha? Can I get you something? Martha: Ah, well, sure. You can, um, light my cigarette, if you're of a mind to. George: No. There are limits. I mean, a man can put up with only ...
Pyro: So, they say you're the bad guy. Magneto: Is that what they say? Pyro: That's a dorky looking helmet. What's it for? Magneto: This "dorky looking helmet" is the only thing that's going to protect me from the REAL bad guys. [magnetically takes P...
Professor Charles Xavier: Heterochromia was in reference to your eyes which I have to say are stunning. One green, one blue. It's a mutation. It's a very groovy mutation. I've got news for you, Amy. You are a mutant. Co-Ed: First you proposition a gi...
[Charles appears just as Raven points a gun at Trask] Raven: Get out of my head, Charles! Charles Xavier: Raven, please do not make us the enemy today. Raven: Look around you, we already are! Charles Xavier: Not all of us, Raven. All you've done so f...
Professor X: Logan, don't you have a class to teach? Logan: A class? Professor X: In history. Logan: History... Well, actually I could use some help with that. Professor X: Help with that? Logan: Everything from 1973. [Professor then looks at Logan] ...
Igor: What is this? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte. The Monster: [off-screen] MMMMMMM! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent. Igor: Who are you talking to? Dr...
[after failing to bring the creature to life] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Nothing. Inga: Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. No. Be of good cheer. If science teaches us anything, it teaches us to accept our failures, as well as our...
Lieutenant John Chard: Well, you've fought your first action. Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Does everyone feel like this afterwards? Lieutenant John Chard: How do you feel? Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Sick. Lieutenant John Chard: Well, you have to ...
Surgeon Maj. Reynolds: You know what you've got there, my malingering Hector? Pte. Henry Hook: No, sir. Hook's the name, sir. Surgeon Maj. Reynolds: You've got a fine glistening boil, my friend. There's one glistening boil for every soldier in Africa...
[after Juror #8 has established that the old man witness could not have heard the killing over the noise of the elevated train] Juror #3: Why should he lie? What's he got to gain? Juror #9: Attention, maybe. Juror #3: You keep coming in with these br...
