[for demonstration, Mr. Kinney points a pistol at ED-209] ED-209: [menacingly] Please put down your weapon. You have twenty seconds to comply. Dick Jones: I think you'd better do what he says, Mr. Kinney. [Mr. Kinney drops the pistol on the floor. ED...
Joe: So, you guys like to tell jokes, huh? Gigglin' and laughin' like a bunch of young broads sittin' in a schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five guys, sittin' in a bullpen, in San Quentin. All wondering how the fuck they got there. What should w...
Father Cavanaugh: [in church] Taking your appeal to a higher authority? Rudy: I'm desperate. If I don't get in next semester, it's over. Notre Dame doesn't accept senior transfers. Father Cavanaugh: Well, you've done a hell of a job kid, chasing down...
Marlene Lauda: Who are you, should I know you? Giovanni: What, you don't know? He's Niki Lauda: Formula One driver and he just signed with Ferrari. Marlene Lauda: Him? Giovanni, Andrea Italian Passenger: Yes! Marlene Lauda: Impossible. Giovanni: [Su...
[first lines] Voice on radio: Men, are you over 40? When you wake up in the morning, do you feel tired and rundown? Do you have that listless feeling... [the camera pans around the courtyard; cut to later in the day] Jeff: [answering phone] Jefferies...
Oberon: You know, Marlene and Gossie's the ones running the game on you, Ray. They sliced up the pie the first night you played. Thirty-five percent off the top. Plus Gossie's double scale as leader. Ray Charles: Leader. If anyone's leadin' the band ...
Chihiro: Haku, listen. I just remembered something from a long time ago, I think it may help you. Once, when I was little, I dropped my shoe into a river. When I tried to get it back I fell in. I thought I'd drown but the water carried me to shore. I...
[after learning of the Doomsday Machine] President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing? Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up...
Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune jus...
Charles Bushman: Now... On the third day, I washed her. She wasn't too clean. I got all the right spots. She's the only one I kept for a certain amount of time, because I got a real short attention span. Now, I can't say she enjoyed her stay, but tha...
P.L. Travers: Why did you have to make him so cruel? He was not a monster! Don DaGradi: Who are we talking about? I'm confused. P.L. Travers: You all have children, yes? And do those children make letters for you? Do they write letters? Do they make ...
Mama Montana: Son? I wish I had one! He's a bum! He was a bum then and he's a bum now! Who do you think you are, hm? We haven't heard a word from you in five years. Cinco anos. You suddenly show up here and you throw money at us? You think you can *b...
Cmdr. William Riker: We finished our first sensor sweep of the neutral zone. Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Oh, fascinating. Twenty particles of space dust per cubic meter, 52 ultraviolet radiation spikes, and a class-2 comet. Well, this is certainly worth...
[Picard asks the Borg Queen to exchange Data for himself] Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Let him go. He's not the one you want. Borg Queen: Are you offering yourself to us? Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Offering myself...? That's it, I remember now! It wasn't e...
James T. Kirk: Why is there a man in that torpedo? Khan: There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there. James T. Kirk: Who the hell are you? Khan: A remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior so as ...
Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back. Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth! Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she? Ham Porter: WHAT? WHAT? Kenny: The sultan of swat! Bertram: The king of crash! Timmy: The colossus of clout! Tommy: Th...
Ham Porter: [mimicking Babe Ruth with a cigar in his mouth; can't understand him] Check this out. I'm the Great Bambino. Sandlot Kids: What? Ham Porter: [still can't understand him] I'm the Great Bambino! Sandlot Kids: What? Ham Porter: [takes cigar ...
Gen. George C. Marshall: I have a letter here, written a long time ago, to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. So bear with me. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are th...
Cole Sear: [angrily] I don't like it when people look at me like that! Stanley Cunningham: Like what? Cole Sear: Stop it! Stanley Cunningham: I don't know how else to look, I... Cole Sear: You're a stuttering Stanley! Stanley Cunningham: Excuse me? C...
Guard: Dunstan Thorn, not again! Tristan: It's Tristan, actually. Guard: Oh. You do look a bit like your father. And I suppose you intend to cross the wall as well, do you? Well you can forget it - go home! Tristan: Cross the wall as well as who? Gua...
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Ooh, but I still smell her. [inhales deeply through nose] Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever bur...