Trapper John: Finished work for the day? Frank Burns: Yes. Why? Trapper John: Good. I was hoping you'd have time tonight to sleep this off. [Trapper punches Burns to the floor and injures his hand just as Colonel Blake and Hotlips walk in] Trapper Jo...
Atreyu: What will happen if he doesn't appear? The Childlike Empress: [sadly] Then our world will disappear - and so will I. Atreyu: How could he let that happen? The Childlike Empress: He doesn't understand that he's the one who has the power to sto...
Alicia: [in bed, hung-over] I'm no stool-pigeon, Mr. Devlin. Devlin: My department authorized me to engage you to do some work for us. There's a job in Brazil... Alicia: Oh, go away. The whole thing bores me. Devlin: Some of the German gentry who are...
Max: Ladies and gents, I drink to the demise of Fat Moe's speakeasy. Who the hell wants to drink here legally anyway, am I right? Okay, come on, Moe, set them up! Go on, get in there! [raises a toast] Max: Here's mud in your eye! Boys, let's drink to...
Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him. Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk. Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between most...
Narrator: He still had enough perfume left to enslave the whole world if he so chose. He could walk to Versailles and have the king kiss his feet. He could write the pope a perfumed letter and reveal himself as the new Messiah. He could do all this, ...
[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal] Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins... Mrs. Bennet: Yes! Or I'll never see her again! Mr. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger...
Sam Loomis: You mean the old woman I saw tonight wasn't Mrs. Bates? Sheriff Al Chambers: Now wait a minute, Sam, are you *sure* you saw an old woman? Sam Loomis: Yes! In the house behind the motel! I called and I pounded, but she just ignored me! She...
Patton: Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admir...
[Marion and Belloq are both very drunk] Marion: [laughs] What is this stuff, Rene? Belloq: [laughing as well] I grew up on this. It's my family label. [Marion falls to the ground laughing then calmly and quickly pulls out the knife she was concealing...
Ed McDonnough: [sobbing] Turn to the right. H.I.: What's the matter, Ed? Ed McDonnough: My "fy-ance" left me. H.I.: [narrating] She said her fiancé had run off with a student cosmetologist, who knew how to ply her feminine wiles. H.I.: [out loud] Th...
Irving Radovich: Hey, er, anybody ever tell you you're a dead ringer for... [Joe kicks him under the table] Irving Radovich: Ow! Well, I guess I'll be going! Joe Bradley: Oh, don't do a thing like that, Irving. Sit down, join us, join us. Irving Rado...
Henry Luce: Now, I want them all to meet my people who will write their true stories, Naturally these stories will appear in Life magazine under their own bylines: For example, "by Betty Grissom", or "by Virgil I. Grisson", or... Gus Grissom: Gus! He...
Richie: I think he's very lonely. Lonelier than he lets on. Maybe lonelier than he even realizes. Ethel: Have you spoken to him about this? Richie: Briefly. And he agreed that... Chas: I'm sorry, maybe I'm a little confused here. What are you suggest...
Yellow Bastard: Do you think I'm tired? You think I'm getting tired? You're the one who's gonna crack! You'll crack! You'll cry and beg! You'll Scream! Oh, yeah, you'll scream, you big, fat, ugly cow! You'll scream! [leans in closer] Yellow Bastard: ...
Mary: (Speaking of a new computer, a gift) From Mr. Stephens... That was him on the phone just now. He was calling to see how you were. Nicole: Who's Mr. Stephens? Sam: Uh, he's a lawyer. He's our lawyer. Nicole: You and Mom have a lawyer? Sam: Well,...
Dr. Jeremiah Naehring: You both served overseas, huh? Chuck Aule: It's not much of a stretch, Doc. For all you know, we're both paper pushers over there. Dr. Jeremiah Naehring: No, you are not. - Since the schoolyard, neither of you has ever walked a...
[first lines] Mark Zuckerberg: Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States? Erica Albright: That can't possibly be true. Mark Zuckerberg: It is. Erica Albright: What...
Erica Albright: Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman? Mark Zuckerberg: So you can see why it's so important to get in. Erica Albright: Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into? Mark ...
Tiffany: Hey! Pat: What the fuck? I'm married! Tiffany: So am I! Pat: What the fuck are you doing? Your husband's dead! Tiffany: Where's your wife? Pat: You're crazy! Tiffany: I'm not the one who just got out of that hospital in Baltimore. Pat: And I...
Cosmo Brown: Why bother to shoot this film? Why not release the old one under a new title? You've seen one, you've seen them all. Don Lockwood: Hey, what'd you say that for? Cosmo Brown: What's the matter? Don Lockwood: That's what that Kathy Selden ...
