Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick! Ellen Griswold: Oh - we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake. Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude? Clark: Clark. Aunt Edna: I thou...
Peggy: Come on, let's see if you can guess who it is... Noodles: Charlotte russe, with a little too much whipped cream... Peggy. Peggy: Hey, you watch it, now! And my prices, they've gone up. I work in a high-class joint now, and I get paid by the po...
Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin! Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us. Pete: You didn't know that at the time. Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know. Pete: That don't make no sense! Ulysses E...
Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly. Mars...
[David looks up from his job at the soda counter to see Jennifer determinedly leading Skip out of the place and down the sidewalk] David: Oh, shit! [He takes a flying jump-leap over the counter] David: *Jennifer*! David: Jennifer, stop! [He chases Je...
Wladyslaw Szpilman: So, you play the cello, Dorota. That's nice. And who's your favorite composer? Chopin? Really? Well, you'll have to learn to play his cello sonata, won't you? And what about you, Wladek? Well, perhaps I can accompany? Me on the pi...
The Blue Fairy: You must learn to choose between right and wrong. Pinocchio: Right and wrong? But how will I know? Jiminy Cricket: [watching] How'll he know! The Blue Fairy: [to Pinocchio] Your conscience will tell you. Pinocchio: What's a conscience...
Elizabeth Bennet: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love? Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love. Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclin...
The landlord: He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law. Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket? The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord. Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my p...
Jellon Lamb: [dying words] There's night and day brother, both sweet things. Sun and Moon and stars, all sweet things. And quiet, there's a wind on the east. Life is very sweet, brother. Arthur Burns: Life is very sweet, brother, who would wish to di...
Patton: Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as solders who call upon Thee tha...
Sam: Patrick? Patrick: Yeah? Sam: Who's this? Patrick: This is... Charlie: Charlie... Kelmeckis. Patrick: Kelmeckis! No shit! Your sister's dating Ponytail Derek, isn't she? Charlie: Is that what they call him? Sam: Would you leave Ponytail Derek alo...
Dodge Landon: Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape! Caesar: NO! Rodney: [looks at Caesar while he pulls the tranq-gun back and softly] Oh, my God. Buck: [looks at Caesar and softly] Oh-oh-oh. Caesar: [grunts and looks at the other apes w...
Nathan Arizona Sr.: You know what I think? I think you're an evil man. I think this is a shakedown. It's nothing but a Goddamn screw-job. I think you took Nathan Jr. [reaches for telephone] Nathan Arizona Sr.: And you, my fine friend, are the one who...
[last title card] Title card: So, for the second time, the Pharisees summoned the man who had been blind and said: / "Speak the truth before God. / We know this fellow is a sinner." / "Whether or not he is a sinner, I do not know," / The man replied....
Ángela: So besides your father, who do you live with? Jennifer: With my mommy, my daddy, and my dog Max. Ángela: Your dog isn't here either, right? I can't see him. Jennifer: No, he's not. Ángela: Do you love your dog? Jennifer: Yes. Ángela: Why ...
Stanley Goodspeed: Hi, darling, it's me. Listen, do not come, I repeat, do not come to San Francisco. Carla: [Answers the phone] Stanley, no. Stanley Goodspeed: Carla... Carla: Like hell I'm not comin'! [Hangs up] Stanley Goodspeed: Wait, Carla... [t...
Princess Ann: I hate this nightgown. I hate all my nightgowns, and I hate all my underwear too. Countess: My dear, you have lovely things. Princess Ann: But I'm not two hundred years old. Why can't I sleep in pajamas? Countess: Pajamas? Princess Ann:...
Little John: You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor. Robin Hood: Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit f...
Blofeld: Three men were found dead on the Orient Express train at Trieste. One of them was Grant. What have you got to say about that Number Five? Kronsteen: It was Klebb's choice. Her people failed. Rosa Klebb: It was your plan they followed implici...
Charlie: [on phone with Raymond's place] Dr. Bruner, it's Charlie Babbitt. Dr. Bruner: Where are you, son? Charlie: That's not important. What matters is who I'm with. Dr. Bruner: You have to bring him back, Mr. Babbitt. Do you understand me? Charlie...
