[Ralph is brought to Candy's castle] King Candy: Milk my Duds! It's Wreck-It Ralph! Wreck-It Ralph: Yeah. Who are you, the guy that makes the donuts? King Candy: [laughs] Oh, please. No, I'm King Candy! Wreck-It Ralph: [looks around] I see you're a f...
Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is? Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP! Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity thro...
Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway. Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway? Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimm...
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Eddie! Don't throw me out. Don't you realize you're making a big mistake? I didn't kill anybody. I swear! The whole thing's a set up. A scam, a frame job. Ow! Eddie, I could never hurt anybody. Oow! My whole purpose in life ...
Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the... [bottle falls on his head] Roger Rabbit: Nose! Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls." Eddie Valiant: No,...
Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit. [Roger gasps] Eddie Valiant: Ya see? Judge Doom: Where? Angelo: He's right here in the bar. [puts his arm around Harvey the Invisible Rabbit] Angelo: Say hello... Harvey. [the whole bar erupts in laughter] Roger Rabbit: ...
Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackerth, but you are dethpicable Donald F. Duck: Doggone stubborn little- That did it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Daffy Duck: Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone with a th-peech impediment. Donald F. Du...
Benny the Cab: Ah, that's better. I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk. Roger Rabbit: Come on, Eddie, get in! Benny the Cab: It was only a couple of MILES. Eddie Valiant: I'll drive. Roger Rabbit: But I wanna drive. Benny the...
Judge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit... [goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget squats] Judge Doom: Dolores: Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here harrassing my customers. Jud...
Bullet #1: What in Sam Hill? Bullet #2: Eddie Valiant! Why, you're a sight for sore eyes. Bullet #1: I ain't seen you nigh onto five years. Bullet #2: Where've you been? Eddie Valiant: Drunk. You feeling frisky tonight, fellas? Bullet #1, Bullet #2:...
Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant? Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year. Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. ...
R.K. Maroon: What are you going to do to me, Valiant? Eddie Valiant: I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out. R.K. Maroon: You got it all wron...
Smart Ass: Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the "bull-shtick"! Eddie Valiant: You keep talkin' like that, and I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out! [he sticks a bar of soap in...
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please! Don't worry. Whatever you say. Yes, ma'am. Aye-aye, sir. Okey-dokey. Why, I'll take care of him like he was my own brother. Or my own sister. [Hits face on door] Roger Rabbit: Ow! Or my brother's sister. Or my second cousin....
Judge Doom: [deleted scene] We'll handle Mr. Valiant our own way: downtown. Eddie Valiant: Downtown? Fine. I'll just get a hold of Santino. I'll be more than happy to go downtown. Judge Doom: Oh, I'm not talking about *that* downtown. I'm talking abo...
[Roger is sitting outside of the Acme factory, crying while looking at pictures of him and Jessica] Roger Rabbit: Oh Jessica, please tell me it's not true. [sobbing] Roger Rabbit: [the pictures are of Roger and Jessica's wedding, them at a beach, and...
[Daniel Hochleitner comforts Rachel after her husband's death, then walks by as some funeral guests are chatting] Amish: Jacob was a good farmer. Amish: Not a man to buy a horse from. Hochleitner, wasn't it he who sold you the one with the ruptured t...
George: You can sit around with the gin running out of your mouth; you can humiliate me; you can tear me to pieces all night, that's perfectly okay, that's all right. Martha: You can stand it! George: I cannot stand it! Martha: You can stand it, you ...
Feminists who say that I switched sides because I am an opportunist should know that exactly the opposite is true. It's cost me a lot of money. I've gone from being well-to-do to being $70,000 in debt. I have done something self-destructive financial...
I write back to every fan who writes me, which is kind of a full-time job in some regards 'cause I don't want people to wait too long . So I get up very early in the morning and try to rip through all of them. I pretty much sleep four hours a night. ...
Hanbei Kitou: Who are you? You're no samurai. Koyata: So what? Do only samurai matter in this world? I thought samurai would be fun but you bore me. You're useless, even more useless in great numbers. Lord Naritsugu Matsudaira: [stabs him] This man s...
