Tom: This is lies. We are liars. Think about it. Why do people buy cards? It's not because they want to say how they feel. People buy cards because they can't say they feel or are afraid to. And we provide the service that let's them off the hook. Yo...
Deke Slayton: Jim, we've got a problem. I got some blood work back from the lab. Charley Duke has the measles. Jim Lovell: [Unconcerned] So we need a new back-up. Deke Slayton: You've all been exposed to it. Jim Lovell: Oh, I've had the measles. Deke...
[Lovell and Haise are trying to get control of the lunar module] Jim Lovell: We're all out of whack. We try to pitch down but we yaw to the left. Why can't I null this out? Fred Haise, Sr.: She wasn't designed to fly attached like this. Our center of...
Charlie Kaufman: My leg hurts, I wonder if it's cancer? There's a bump. I'm starting to sweat. Stop sweating. I've got to stop sweating. Can she see it dripping down my forehead? She looked at my hair line. She thinks I'm bald. She... Valerie Thomas:...
[Directors cut ending: Ash emerges from a cave where he's been asleep for 700 years. He looks overjoyed] Ash: Ha ha. Manufactured parts. Ha... [Look of joy turns to horror as he sees a world devastated by nuclear war] Ash: No. No. Oh God I slept too ...
Mitzi: [about Trumpet] , You know, I never heard him play. Bernadette: Play? He didn't *play*, dear. Trumpet didn't have a single musical bone in his body. No, Trumpet had an unusually large foreskin. So large, in fact, that he could wrap the entire ...
Lloyd Richards: I shall never understand the weird process by which a body with a voice suddenly fancies itself as a mind. Just when exactly does an actress decide they're HER words she's speaking and HER thoughts she's expressing? Margo Channing: Us...
Detective Trupo: When was the last time I was in New Jersey? Let me think, never, what are you doing coming over here unannounced? You think you're going to get hurt doing that? you got your fucking money, never come into this city unannounced, you c...
Girl in Studebaker: You got a bitchin' car. John Milner: Yeah, I know. Girl in Studebaker: In fact, your car's so neat, we're gonna give you our special prize. You want me to give it to you? John Milner: Sweetheart, if the prize is you, I'm a ready t...
John Milner: What the hell's goin' on here, Toad? Hey, man, are you all right? Terry Fields: Yeah, I'll die soon, then it'll all be over, John. Debbie Dunham: Wow, you're just like the Lone Ranger. John Milner: Yeah, yeah. Listen, are you with him? T...
[last lines] John Milner: I know, uh... you probably think you're a big shot, goin' off like this... John Milner: [he slaps Curt] ... but you're still a punk. Curt Henderson: OK, John... So long... So long! [Steve, Terry, Laurie and John wish Curt go...
[Annie's family and Alvy's family converse through a split screen] Mom Hall: How do you plan to spend the holidays, Mrs. Singer? Alvy's Mom: We fast. Dad Hall: Fast? Alvy's Dad: No food. You know, to atone for our sins. Mom Hall: What sins? I don't u...
Will Scarlett: I'm tired. Robin Hood: What? After a nice refreshing sleep in the green wood? Will Scarlett: I pulled seven acorns out of my ribs. Robin Hood: Lovely, fresh air... Will Scarlett: My teeth ache with chattering. Robin Hood: Nightingales ...
[Flounder has just fired a blank cartridge near Neidermeyer's horse, and the horse has dropped dead] Bluto: Holy shit! D-Day: There were blanks in that gun! Flounder: I didn't even point the gun at him! Bluto: Holy shit! [D-Day checks the gun] D-Day:...
[last lines] Ripley: Final report of the commercial starship Nostromo, third officer reporting. The other members of the crew, Kane, Lambert, Parker, Brett, Ash and Captain Dallas, are dead. Cargo and ship destroyed. I should reach the frontier in ab...
Dallas: Now, this air shaft may work to our advantage. Here. It leads up to and comes out in the main airlock. All right, there's only one big opening along the way, we can cover that up, and then we... drive it into the airlock and zap it into outer...
[first lines] Truck Driver: That way is Proctor, and over here is the moors. I go this way. Jack: Thanks for the ride, sir. You have lovely sheep. Truck Driver: Boys, keep off the moors, stick to the roads. The best to ya... David: Thanks again. [the...
Mr. Collignon: [whispering to Amelie] Bre-to-deau. But if I say it, it won't count. I'm senile. Mrs. Collignon: Ignore him. He's senile. See what he's done to my laurel? His old job was punching metro tickets. Now he gets up every night to punch hole...
Emanuel Schikaneder: Look, I asked you if we could start rehearsals next week and you said yes. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Well, we can. Emanuel Schikaneder: So let me see it. Where is it? Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Here. It's all right here in my noodle...
Paul Biegler: Mr. Paquette, what would you call a man with an insatiable penchant for women? Alphonse Paquette: A what? Paul Biegler: A penchant... a desire... taste... passion? Alphonse Paquette: Well, uh, ladies' man, I guess. Or maybe just a damn ...
Patrick Bateman: I'm on a diet. Jean: What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin. Patrick Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better. Jean: Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your...
