Wendell: You think this boy Moss has got any notion of the sorts of sons of bitches that're huntin' him? Ed Tom Bell: I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.
Ed Tom Bell: Here last week they found this couple out in California. They rent out rooms for old people, kill'em, bury'em in the yard, cash their social security checks. Well, they'd tortur'em first, I don't know why. Maybe the television set was br...
Nancy: [At the sleep clinic] I don't see why you can't just give me a pill to keep me from dreaming. Dr. King: Everybody's got to dream, young girl. If you don't dream... [Pointing to his head] Dr. King: Ya go.
[Sheba is going to see her son perform in his school play, but Barbara demands that she must instead go with her to the vet to see her cat put down] Richard Hart: My condolences! Poor, poor, pussy! Now can I have my wife back, please?
[Barbara's first impressions of Sheba as she watches her in the playground] Barbara Covett: [voiceover] Hard to read the wispy novice. Is she a sphinx or simply stupid? Artfully dishevelled today. The tweedy tramp coat is an abhorrence. It seems to s...
Aunt Edna: Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news? Catherine: [nervously] Uh, no; I was just about to. Ellen Griswold: Good news, what good news, Catherine? Aunt Edna: You're driving me to Phoenix! [Clark begins choking on his hamburger]
Sue Barlow: So is it marriage that scares you two, or putting down roots? Boss Spearman: No. Who'd have him? All rangy and mangy like a rough old dog. Charley Waite: How about I hold your head under water for just a little while?
Milton Waddams: Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and th...
[a mine worker, formerly one of the Tuskegee Airmen, almost gets hit when he watches Homer launch a rocket] Leon Bolden: Homer, I flew with the Red Tails in World War II. And seein' that rocket come at me... it almost took me back there.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I guess hard times flush the chump. Everybody's lookin' for answers... Where the hell's he goin'? [as Delmar runs out to be baptized] Pete: Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. Delmar's been saved!
Big Dan Teague: Thank you boys for throwin' in that fricassee. I'm a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin' a mite peckish. Ulysses Everett McGill: It's our pleasure, Big Dan.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe [smacks his lips] Miracle Max: They're so perky, I love that.
[the condemned men are awaiting execution] Corporal Paris: See that cockroach? Tomorrow morning, we'll be dead and it'll be alive. It'll have more contact with my wife and child than I will. I'll be nothing, and it'll be alive. [Ferol smashes the roa...
Martin Sixsmith: What you're talking about is what they call a human interest story; I don't do those. Jane: Why not? Martin Sixsmith: Because "human interest story" is a euphemism for stories about weak-minded, vulnerable, ignorant people, to fill i...
[King is writing a letter to his girlfriend] Francis: It ain't D-E-R-E, it's D-E-A-R. And "Sarah" ain't got no two R's, King. Damn, you dumb! King: It don't make no difference. She know what I mean. She don't read too good nohow.
Regina: Quiet please. Quiet. Order, order! Please! Halina: She's a lawyer, she likes order. Regina: Listen, just listen. The watch we put under the flower pots and the money we stuff in the violin. Father: Will I still be able to play? Wladyslaw Szpi...
Foulfellow: [seeing a poster for Stromboli's puppet show] Well, well, well! Stromboli! So that old rascal's back in town, eh? [to Gideon] Foulfellow: Remember the time I put strings on you and passed you off as a puppet? [laughs] Foulfellow: We nearl...
Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, [looks at Jack's sword] Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of. Jack Sparrow: But you have heard ...
Jack Sparrow: [upon seeing Elizabeth plunge into the ocean] Will you be saving her then? Mullroy: I can't swim. [Jack looks at Murtogg... no he won't do either] Jack Sparrow: Pride of the King's navy you are. Do not lose these.
Marjane's grandmother: Listen. I don't like to preach, but here's some advice. You'll meet a lot of jerks in life. If they hurt you, remember it's because they're stupid. Don't react to their cruelty. There's nothing worse than bitterness and revenge...
C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...? Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids...
