She relaxed a bit—well, as much as one could relax while being half-naked and bleeding in front of a vampire. She was the picture of a tasty meal to one such as he.
The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing.
I don't have much patience for people who enjoy limitless liberty while decrying those who get their hands dirty to make sure it exists for them.
Squeeze out the competition—with hugs. I’m giving out FREE hugs while samples last. After that I’ll have to charge an arm and a leg—or maybe just two arms.
We made love like a goat has four legs like a table. If your dining room table can walk, it’s best to eat while sitting in wheelchairs.
There’s bloodstains on my carpet, so I can’t have any vampire over, lest they lick they carpet while I’m urinating on it. Ugh, first world problems.
My late summer shorts caught fire, and that’s when all the red of autumn began. We fell in love while she roasted marshmallows over my toasty genitals.
When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes you stop and think. And while you’re thinking, I’ll be speeding off in the getaway car.
I shaved off a few seconds from my morning routine by not shaving off my facial hair. I’m growing a handlebar mustache for charity—and for something to hang on to while I ride my unicycle.
How do new watches catch up with old watches that have had more time to get a head start? This is what I pondered while I waited on her to fall in love with me.
Fear exists before and after, but not while the shots are being fired, because, at that moment, you see men at their very limit, capable of the most heroic of actions and the most inhumane.
I've had quite enough danger for a while I think. I might have some more when I'm thirteen, but definitely not before then...
There are no standards and no possible victories except the joy you are living while dancing your run. You are not running for some future reward-the real reward is now!
I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I don't have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while I'm blowing out candles gives me hives.
'Bonnie and Clyde,' while one of the best movies ever made, was far more interested in portraying Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker as romantic anti-establishment Robin Hoods than what they really were: white-trash spree killers.
While a lab Director can get done the things that he regards as important, he has the more important job of bringing out the best ideas of the broader scientific community.
I don't do my best work while I'm in therapy. I'm too onto myself immediately seeing meanings in things and more likely to censor myself. I'd rather find images I don't understand. That's what generates the work.
In life, try your best to do the right thing. Have fun while you're alive. Take advantage of every asset you have. Don't take anything for granted.
The Interest Rate Reduction Act takes a first step toward providing critical stability by eliminating the threat of an immediate interest rate increase, while making clear the need to move toward a long-term solution that serves the best interests of...
Guantanamo allows us to secure dangerous detainees without the risk of escape, while at the same time providing us with valuable intelligence information on how best to proceed in the war against terror and prevent future attacks.
With horses, familiarity breeds comfort. If you haven't been around horses for a while (or ever), the best thing to do is to go to the racetrack, a horse show, a rodeo, or some other horsey activity, and watch the horses. Familiarize yourself with th...
